The Wiretap Tv EP.4 " NEEDED CONVERSATIONS"

[00:00:01] Speaker A: And we're back. What's up, y'all? It's your host of the Wiretap. Tony got Jeff back. What's happening today? We got my man Reese here to fill in for Keon. First and foremost, give a shout out to Keon. He went down south to celebrate his dad. His dad had passed away a few years ago, so we want to, you know, send out blessings and, you know, our respect. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Absolutely. I can't remember how to pronounce his name, though. [00:00:29] Speaker C: Keon. [00:00:30] Speaker A: Not Keon. His father is grand. [00:00:33] Speaker C: No, this Keon's dad's daddy. [00:00:36] Speaker B: Keon. Keon. [00:00:37] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I just couldn't remember the name. But we'll get it right. And I'm gonna put a message in the. You know, in the beginning, you know, because this episode is gonna be dedicated to his father. Absolutely. But as always, like, follow and subscribe. And if you feeling what? [00:00:54] Speaker B: Comment. If you frisky, we messed that up, but we got you. [00:01:04] Speaker A: And as always, I spin the intro. All right, y'all, we back. Like I said, you know, this is a special episode. Keon will be back. Oh, and we have. I'll step in, Commentator T. Hi, guys. There she go. She's behind the scenes with us. She said she wasn't doing it. I'm not doing the burp, burp, burp. That's Leah. [00:01:39] Speaker C: I'm not doing it. [00:01:48] Speaker A: But as always, let's do our mental health check in. And we start with the lady of the show. And you are the lady of the show. I am the lady. [00:01:56] Speaker C: And given that it is women history. [00:02:03] Speaker D: Women's history month, shout out to all the ladies. My mental health is. Well, I had a good week. No complaints. I had a crazy start to my day. Got a text from my neighbor at 7:57 because my neighbor's car was stolen. [00:02:17] Speaker A: From my hands on the loose. Wow. [00:02:20] Speaker D: Yeah. So I'm, you know, said it was him thankful with me. [00:02:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:27] Speaker B: That's crazy. [00:02:27] Speaker C: Everybody tell you their problems and be like, you know what I'm at? [00:02:30] Speaker B: I ain't got that. They had a similar thing happen in my neighborhood, but they didn't steal the cars. They were just breaking in them. [00:02:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:38] Speaker B: They hit, like, every call on the block. And I. My dummy self, I left my door unlocked so my window didn't get broken. They just opened my door. [00:02:46] Speaker D: And I think the same thing happened to the guy. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And I was actually happy. Cause there was glass everywhere. You know what's crazy? [00:02:52] Speaker A: My aunt shout out to Danielle. [00:02:54] Speaker C: Oh, I. But I don't know If t was. [00:02:55] Speaker D: Done with her, I was done. [00:02:56] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, she was done. But my fault. He right, though. But I just wanted to say, my aunt, she lives in the Bay Area and they break glass out there. She driving nice men's and she got. She leave her windows down. She's like, I don't need shit in there. So that part, you know what I'm saying? [00:03:15] Speaker B: That part. [00:03:15] Speaker A: I just don't want them to break the glass. [00:03:17] Speaker B: Yeah. That's how I was happy. And it was with the wildness of it was I was woke, I was in the shower and I had a window in my bathroom. So I heard glass breaking. And I thought that because the trash is right below my bathroom window. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:03:30] Speaker B: So I thought like, I was like one of these foxes, then got in the trash again and broke something. Nah. [00:03:36] Speaker A: No, sir. [00:03:36] Speaker B: Here was one of them YNs walking down the street, just going in, Everybody. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Hit them with a RICO yet. That part, he's going to put all white. [00:03:46] Speaker B: This is all of them. That's insane. That's insane. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Maurice, how was your week, brother? [00:03:54] Speaker B: Hey, man, every day is a good day. Even when it's not, bro. Yeah. All that. If I wake up, it's a good day. If I make it home, my day was perfect. Honestly, I don't complain about much. Nothing too eventful. Had a little scared this morning. Had to save a little kid. I heard that was crazy. But, you know, outside of that, just happy. Everybody made it through. Everybody's healthy for the most part. Everybody's happy. So, you know, it is what it be. [00:04:20] Speaker A: How about you, Jeff? Oh, you had an event. Congratulations on your event. [00:04:24] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Another event. Successful. Yeah, another successful event. How was the event? That's start there. The event was dope. [00:04:33] Speaker C: It was a woman wanting wealth, woman wanting women. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Celebrating women again. [00:04:37] Speaker C: Celebrating women again. I wanted to make sure I did my part, so I focused around estate planning. Studies show that by 20, 30, $34 trillion will be moving towards women. [00:04:49] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:50] Speaker C: Whether it be pay raises, inheritance, whole bunch of other factors. [00:04:54] Speaker A: They're getting the money. [00:04:55] Speaker C: Yeah. And so I like to think that we operate in a matriarch society instead of a patriarch. So if mom goes, the family is fucked. So it's like, okay, how can we now plan ahead? [00:05:10] Speaker A: Right? [00:05:10] Speaker C: And so I had an estate attorney come in, Sherry Fleming. She was super dope, but I wanted people to be in a space of that. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Right, okay. [00:05:19] Speaker C: Like, it's not every day you get to talk to a lawyer without paying everything. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Without paying everything. Fee. Yeah. [00:05:24] Speaker C: $25 for a drink and you get as much information as you want. Now you have a contact that if you need something, you can reach out to. And it was just super dope for the reception that we had. But yeah, I'll focus that on like how my week was. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:41] Speaker C: Everything else, it was just solid. I ain't had the trouble shit that I had like the week before. So like this week was just a solid week of appreciating the good and the bad. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Right, Right. [00:05:51] Speaker B: How about you, Tone? How was your week? Good, brother, my week was cool. [00:05:54] Speaker A: I mean, it was smooth. Nothing crazy happened. You know, it is what it is kind of thing. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Nothing, nothing was going wrong other than I noticed every time the week I got my son, somehow I always have to fight to like leave because I got to get him and. And when the weeks I don't have him, I get off on time. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:16] Speaker A: So I just think that's just hilarious. [00:06:18] Speaker B: That's the way things go though. [00:06:19] Speaker A: Yeah, that's just what it is. Do me a favor, Jeff, we'll just chat real quick. [00:06:24] Speaker C: Your chat? [00:06:25] Speaker A: Yeah, our chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Okay. [00:06:27] Speaker C: Keep talking. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, I was going t. I'm going to send you a message. I need to check your phone real quick. I don't know how you about to do this, but. [00:06:38] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Cuz we didn't have the timer start on the phone with the. Yeah, but before you get up, I know we got time. You good? Let's do it in like the next. Once we start these topics. So ladies and gentlemen, today we're gonna be talking about relationships and how they have affected our experiences in life. And you know, black women, you on your own. [00:07:08] Speaker B: You wanna switch seats? [00:07:10] Speaker A: No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm joking. I love you black women. I'm just joking. But we're gonna expand on relationships. We're not just gonna talk about romantic relationships, we're gonna talk about friendships, relationships with family members, relationships with yourself, part business partners, just the whole venture, I think. You know, I wanted to kind of expound on relationship because when most people hear that word they just think, yeah. [00:07:31] Speaker B: They go straight to romance. [00:07:34] Speaker A: So T, what's our first topic that. [00:07:36] Speaker D: We got, Our first topic for the day is do you end friendships that no longer serve a purpose? And how did you feel about it? [00:07:45] Speaker A: Absolutely. Hell yeah. [00:07:47] Speaker D: For sure. [00:07:48] Speaker C: And I'm gonna tell you like this. I don't even get mad when people in friendships with me. [00:07:52] Speaker A: No. If I'm not serving a purpose in your life. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:54] Speaker C: Cause I Be like. But my thought process is, damn, what the fuck I do to let this person say that I ain't good enough. [00:08:02] Speaker B: To be my friend? Yeah. [00:08:03] Speaker C: But I don't take it. [00:08:04] Speaker B: That's a hard pill to swallow though. [00:08:06] Speaker C: But I don't take it as any sight. You probably felt that you leveled up in your life. I didn't. And so we grow it in reverse order. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Reverse order, reverse. [00:08:16] Speaker A: I've definitely been in my experience, shout out to Leo for always keeping in contact with me. There were times where I felt like I didn't wanna be around because he was doing so well. Not saying it want him doing well. It was just like, all right, I gotta get my shit together. Because how I'ma celebrate life with my homeboy and I don't even got my shit together. You get what I'm saying? So it was like. There was a time where it was just like I just stepped away from the friendship. Not to say that again. It wasn't like on no hating shit. It was like, well, let me get my together so I could be a real friend. You know what I'm saying? So I. [00:08:50] Speaker C: But I also don't think you have to do that. [00:08:53] Speaker B: No, that's what I was gonna say. I've had situations with people around me who have elevated to different positions. So I'm a genuine person. I feel. I try my best to be a genuine person with people. So when I fuck with you, I fuck with you. When you my friend, you're legitimately my friend. So be great, shoot for the stars. You feel me? And I'm gonna do my best to help you get there. And I don't want nothing from you. So we want to celebrate every achievement we going live it up. You know what I'm saying? And do you. I don't have to do you for you to do you. You see what I'm saying? I'm okay with being at home doing me while you do you. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:30] Speaker B: And wherever we connect and meet at, that's our space that we fall in. Right. Is what I'm saying. But some people can't operate like that. Some people I know people who cannot adhere to other people's success. [00:09:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:42] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And they feel like it's a slight to them that they didn't have the accolades or even get the credit for the help they've given for that person to get to where they are. [00:09:51] Speaker C: Right. [00:09:51] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And stuff like that, that's just not. That's. It's disingenuous to Me. [00:09:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. Because I think in my. With my experience, it was more so, like, I just. I got tired of making excuses as to why I couldn't be a part of. So it was like, what you mean? Like, you know, when he would hit me, like, bro, I'm going here, or, yo, let's be going. We going to Vegas. We don't. You know what I'm saying? I'm making excuses because my PA or not. Right, right. And it's like, all right, let me get myself together. [00:10:21] Speaker C: Do you say that? Do you voice that? [00:10:24] Speaker A: No. I was young. I mean, now I would. Because, you know, I've been through therapy. I've learned how to articulate my emotions. [00:10:30] Speaker B: Right. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Without making myself feel weak. [00:10:35] Speaker B: Yeah, weak. [00:10:36] Speaker A: There we go. That's the word. Without making myself feel weak. But at that stage in my life, no, I was too prideful. [00:10:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:42] Speaker B: How old were you? [00:10:43] Speaker A: It's like 26, 27. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Okay. [00:10:46] Speaker A: You know, like, I didn't know how, like. All right, so just to swerve a little bit. Masculinity, right. I don't think that black men have a clear understanding of what masculinity is. And what does it really mean to be a man? Prior to my experience with therapy, I. My dad. And I don't know if he knows this, and he watches the show, so this is probably gonna have him tripping. But I really looked up to my dad, right? Like, the stories I used to hear about him and, like, the things that, you know, like, I really love my pops. [00:11:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:30] Speaker A: I need to start telling them that. But, yeah, that. That moment in my life, I felt like I had to get on my own. Cause he was getting, like. I thought he was getting it on. Like, I didn't think he ever had help. Like, that's the kind of mentality I was like, nah, I can't ask for no. My father ain't never had no. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it was like, right. That little space in time, I just though I was not asking for help. I will fucking sleep in my car. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Before you ask. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Before I ask for help, I feel, you know, I'm saying that was just my mentality at the time, but, you know, as I got older, and then, like, talking to my stepmother and really having some conversations. Like, my dad, he doesn't like to really talk, but when you pick up little phrases, he say it was like, oh, okay. That's what that situation was. Because on my end, it didn't look like that when I was a kid, right. I thought you would just, you know, you pulled up your pants, tighten your belt and whole time behind the scenes. [00:12:31] Speaker B: My grandmother helped, always. Well, my uncle helped always. [00:12:34] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So I was like. I was just, no, no help. No help. You know what I'm saying? But now, yes, I will call a motherfucker. [00:12:41] Speaker B: Quick jacket. [00:12:47] Speaker C: I'm in a bind, Nate. [00:12:50] Speaker A: I ain't doing no gay shit, though. [00:12:53] Speaker D: So I have a question. So do you think that men associate asking for help with weakness? In that. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:13:01] Speaker C: Yes. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:13:02] Speaker B: I mean, because we learned it early. Like, a lot of us at some point play sports early in our life. We learned very early that you gotta reach within and find that inner strength to get up and get the job done. [00:13:18] Speaker C: Which. And I don't mean to cut you off, but I wanna stay on this point. [00:13:21] Speaker B: You meant it's okay. [00:13:22] Speaker C: Yeah, but if you look at it, that's a. What's the thing where it's like. It's counterproductive because you're on a team. [00:13:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. [00:13:30] Speaker C: And you can't do. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:13:33] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:13:33] Speaker C: You gotta do it. [00:13:34] Speaker B: So that's where I was about to go. You went where I was going. [00:13:37] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:37] Speaker B: And it's exactly that space. Like, I played four different sports and, you know, I play at different levels. And outside of tennis, you see what I'm saying? Like, there's nothing that you're doing by yourself. And there's no reason for you to feel as though you have to do anything alone. Like, you have a team, you have a family. You have support for a reason. You know what I mean? And it took me losing my father. My father died when I was 24. So it took me losing my father to realize that I got my mom and my sister. You know what I'm saying? And I don't have to be, quote, unquote, the man in my family. Like, we. It can be us. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:12] Speaker B: So. [00:14:13] Speaker A: So that's the interesting perspective because, like, that's how the message. The message is not conveyed that way. [00:14:19] Speaker B: Not at all. [00:14:19] Speaker A: When we're being told certain things, we're understanding it in the light as that. In a way that we have to be the ones who get this shit done. [00:14:28] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Like, if I ask for help, it's gonna take away. It's almost like that. You know what? I just thought about it at one point in time. Struggle seemed like a badge. [00:14:41] Speaker B: How about it? [00:14:42] Speaker A: You get what I'm saying? Like, struggle seemed like a badge. [00:14:44] Speaker B: I feel that. [00:14:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:45] Speaker A: It's like, and just. I don't mean to bring it back to the Kendrick and Drake situation, but a lot of the biggest comparison between those two was where he was from. [00:14:55] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:14:56] Speaker A: And it's like, nah, Kendrick was from here, he got it from here. Which. That's a valid point. But what's wrong with the other side of that? [00:15:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's nothing wrong with not having. [00:15:05] Speaker A: To struggle to be successful. [00:15:06] Speaker B: Be successful. I've always felt that way. I mean, it goes back to, like, even when you looking at the whole nepotism situation. And now, you know, right now we get into LeBron and Bronnie focus, but we got other examples of nepotism. It's nothing wrong with that. Like, the whole goal as a parent. I'm a parent. The whole goal for me as a parent is for my children to not have to struggle any. Any way, shape, fashion or form the way I did. Not saying that. I'm not even saying I struggled the most. My parents did the absolute best that they could do with what they had. And you learn that as a parent as you grow up, you learn that we as adults, that's what adulting really is. It's doing the best that you can do with what you have. [00:15:44] Speaker A: Absolutely. And too, I want to. So when I thought about it just now, I actually witnessed the friendship fall apart because of that, because of nepotism in the way. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Okay. [00:15:55] Speaker A: So these were two particular friends. One person, his father was in the street, and once his father got out the street, he felt like he wasn't receiving the same kind of funding that he once received. [00:16:15] Speaker B: Once received. [00:16:16] Speaker A: The other person, his family was, you know, doing things and helping him. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:16:23] Speaker A: And the other friend felt some type of way about that. [00:16:26] Speaker B: Okay. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Which I thought was interesting. I'm like, that. Like you just said, that's the whole purpose as a parent, is to not have your kids struggle as much through life. And he really ended that friendship off. The thought of your parents are giving it to you, and I gotta get it out the mud. [00:16:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's right. [00:16:44] Speaker A: But to go back to the masculinity thing. [00:16:46] Speaker C: Hold on, let me stay here. [00:16:47] Speaker A: Go ahead, go ahead. [00:16:48] Speaker C: You know where I think the struggle comes from? Like the mantra where it's like, it's okay to struggle. What's the religious quote? And I'm not here to, like, throw down. [00:16:58] Speaker A: I'm not. [00:16:58] Speaker C: Here you go. He ain't gonna put you through what you can't handle. And they be like, who the fuck said I died? [00:17:09] Speaker B: Nah, real shit. I'm out here damn near d bad. [00:17:19] Speaker A: Right? Got five bills in one one day. And then, you know, then they g. [00:17:37] Speaker C: They gonna throw that book of job at. But what I'm saying, I think, like, that's, you know, where, like, that struggle. [00:17:45] Speaker A: That struggle, yeah. It's like. [00:17:47] Speaker B: Like, I mean, it's ingrained in our culture. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Black culture. [00:17:51] Speaker B: It's ingrained in our culture. All we know is struggle, bro. Like, our entire existence in this country is struggling. [00:17:57] Speaker C: I had a. Like, today at my event. Sweet lady, she spoke to me at the end. Like, it was like a spiritual connection type. Okay, so we talking, and then she, like, paused, and she was like, hold on, something's coming in. I'm about to tell you this. I'm probably not going to remember next time we talk what this is said, but this is for you. I go, let me hear it. But she said. She said, like, whatever you're going through, you need to make sure that you figure it out right now. Fill out. See how you can heal. Because pain is given from seven generations back, and then it can last for seven generations forward. And she was like, if you don't figure it out or if you figure something out, okay, you may have saved, like, one or two, but then you gonna pass down to your. [00:18:45] Speaker B: Nah, that's real. [00:18:46] Speaker C: Yeah, what you did. And I was like, damn, give me a hug. And I was like, that shit made me sit, thinking, oh, yeah, there's some healing we gotta do, so. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Nah, that's real, though. Like, you know, I have a son that's 19 years old. And as you know, me and my wife joke. Everything's a joke. Like, we joke about everything, which is why we get along so well. Cause we can joke about everything, right? But, like, today we was getting in the car, and my son, he driving now, so he be driving my car, and he has a very bad habit, leaving my sunroof open. So I told him. I was like, bro, if the next time I get in my car and my sunroof open, you're not driving my car for a minute. [00:19:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:27] Speaker B: All right. Because this is getting ridiculous. And so I'm telling my wife this. And she was like, what? He said. I was like, well, he. You know, first thing. He was like, well, is it because when I cut the car off and the sunroof's still closing, it's not closing all the way. I was like, you know, you start looking for a reason why it's not his fault. She was, that's your child. Like, she immediately went, that's his kid. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Shit. [00:19:45] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. She immediately, that's your child. Like father, like son. [00:19:49] Speaker C: You understand what I'm saying? [00:19:50] Speaker B: And I looked at her like, why you gotta make everything about me? But then I was like, man, you know what? That's real, though. Because that's my son. He's Maurice iii. You feel me? And he literally. When I look at him, he literally tries to be me. And. Which I'm okay with. Cause I think I'm an okay person. So I'm okay with him trying to be me. And I'm conscious of him trying to be me. So I'm always conscious of what I. Around him. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:11] Speaker B: Because I know that he's looking at me as the example. And it was like, well, wait, he probably got that from me. You know what I'm saying? Because there used to be a point in my life where it wasn't my fault. I don't give a fuck what happened. It wasn't my fault. You know what I'm saying? Like, nausea. And I've ended relationships because of it. Like, I've lost people because of it. [00:20:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:27] Speaker B: And I had to really realize, like, is it come to a point where you check yourself? And you was like, yo, if all of these things keep happening in situation A through either the only common denominator is you. So. [00:20:38] Speaker A: So, all right, that's a very valid point because to the. Back to the question, because I was thinking, like, what was my most hurtful friendship that I had to end? And it was the one with my cousin. And then we cool. We didn't. I didn't. I'm not gonna say I necessarily ended it. [00:20:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:54] Speaker A: But there had to be a space of separation because I felt like we was just going in the revolving door. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:01] Speaker A: Right. Because I feel like by even this. Right. This podcast thing for me. Right. That was something that was supposed to happen with them. [00:21:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:11] Speaker A: But people kept making excuses as to why they couldn't. [00:21:16] Speaker B: Can't be part of. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And in my mind, I'm like, it's never going to happen. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Right. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Unless I started. But then it's like, once you find that space, and I don't know if y'all have ever dealt with this, but when you find that space, when you start believing in yourself and things start happening, do you feel like the excuses that people start to make are just, like. [00:21:39] Speaker B: They get in the way? Yeah. No, that's real. That's real. [00:21:42] Speaker C: It's. I'm tired to this. Learning accountability is like. [00:21:47] Speaker B: I mean. Yeah. That's high level adult. [00:21:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:51] Speaker B: Like, learning accountability is High key, high level adulting. [00:21:54] Speaker C: Right. [00:21:54] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? It's something that unfortunately, as men, most of us men don't really understand what even that means until we become husbands and fathers and we suffer through some type of losses. Like we gotta go through shit before we even understand what accountability is. And I feel like that because we don't. It's a song that I love by this dude named Andy Richter. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Make that ass clap. [00:22:20] Speaker B: No Andy Richter. He's not making any ass clap. [00:22:26] Speaker C: His name is Andy Richter. [00:22:30] Speaker B: No asses clapping for Andy. It's a song called Pain. And he's singing to his kids saying, I wish you all of the pain in the world because that's the. The best growing that you can do is through pain. And he's actually singing to his children like, I wish you. I love you so much. I wish you all of the pain in the world because you're one of. [00:22:50] Speaker C: Bring that to me. [00:22:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I know you about to bring it home. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Yeah. The song. [00:22:56] Speaker A: My point being, I'm gonna have to listen to it. [00:22:58] Speaker B: Yeah, you gotta listen to the song. But my point being you don't really realize until you get to a certain place in your life, which is normally in mid age adulthood, 30, 30ish, late mid to late 30th, that you didn't lost a lot of and people and, and things that you thought you valued and now you got the things that you really value around you that you had to go through, the pain that you had to go through for these things to even matter to you. [00:23:21] Speaker A: So. [00:23:21] Speaker C: So I get where you're going. [00:23:23] Speaker A: No, I get his point because. All right, so when I was going through my little situation back then and being too prideful, I remember saying to myself, like, I've never seen, like, I don't. I don't think we've ever had our lights off. Right. Like, I don't know what. I'm not saying my people didn't struggle, but I'm just saying from my perspective, it didn't look like we struggled. [00:23:50] Speaker B: Like you struggled. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Everything I wanted for Christmas I got. [00:23:52] Speaker B: Right. [00:23:52] Speaker A: Clothes I got. It may not have always been what I wanted, but I got. [00:23:56] Speaker B: You had everything you needed, right? [00:23:57] Speaker A: Food we had. So when I was going through my experience, I was kind of like, what the fuck is happening right now? [00:24:04] Speaker C: Right. [00:24:04] Speaker A: You know, because I had never experienced. So I definitely do think you definitely experience some kind of struggle in order to know how to get through it. [00:24:13] Speaker B: So. And that's the shit I realized with, as a parent with My children is that I tried to protect them from so much that I left them at a deficiency. [00:24:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Because they never had to deal with certain levels of struggle to understand how to come out of it. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:28] Speaker C: I'll say this. I don't want to wish you so much pain. I want you. I want to wish you appreciation and understanding. [00:24:36] Speaker A: Right? [00:24:36] Speaker C: Because, Reese, if you tell me, dump up, you like the stove, and you say, hey, don't put your hand on the stove. It's hot. I'm like, all right, cool. I don't have to experience that. Or you say, hey, hey, nigga, getting shot sucks. And it's like. [00:24:51] Speaker B: But that's not atypical, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:24:53] Speaker C: But it's like, I don't want to get shot. It's up. [00:24:55] Speaker B: Right? [00:24:55] Speaker C: So what I'm doing, I'm gonna get my ass in the house at a reason time. I leave that alone when he start going off. [00:25:01] Speaker B: But that's not a. [00:25:02] Speaker C: Okay. [00:25:02] Speaker B: You were outliering that, though. [00:25:03] Speaker C: Okay. You right. But let me say. All right, let's go to the stove example. Right? I don't have to put my hand on it. I can listen to you. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:11] Speaker C: And then I can learn more. [00:25:12] Speaker A: That kind of goes to that. What's that saying? A wise man. [00:25:16] Speaker C: A wise. [00:25:17] Speaker A: A wise man doesn't repeat his mistakes, and the genius doesn't. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Something like that. [00:25:21] Speaker C: So I. I heard it like this. A fool learns from his mistakes. [00:25:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:26] Speaker C: And a wise man learns from the mistakes. Right. I want you to learn from the mistakes of me that you don't have to go through. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:35] Speaker C: You gonna have your own shit. Cool. But you can avoid a lot of landmines just by listening. So I may not want to wish you the pain like what the song says. And I'm not, like, knocking. [00:25:45] Speaker B: No, not at all. [00:25:46] Speaker C: I don't want to wish that to you. I just want to wish appreciation for you and understanding. Like, take. I'm not saying take. What I say is gold. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:53] Speaker C: But, like, understand that, hey, I've been through this. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:56] Speaker C: I want you to avoid this landmine. Yeah. You gonna have your own. But if you can take my story and then whatever you going through, you can finagle it in your situation. [00:26:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Right? [00:26:08] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:09] Speaker C: That's the whole part of, like, nepotism. No, I'm putting you on this. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Hold your thought, because. [00:26:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:26:15] Speaker A: We're gonna take this quick break. [00:26:16] Speaker C: I'm not holding it. [00:26:19] Speaker A: Jeff is on. Be right back, y'all. All right, y'all, we back from the break. We gonna continue this conversation, we left off speaking about friendships that we had and we actually didn't even really get. [00:26:45] Speaker B: We never even got to that. [00:26:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Have you? Gentlemen had to end friendships with people that you truly cared about, but because they weren't serving a purpose anymore, you had to let them go, Which I'm pretty sure we all had. [00:26:59] Speaker C: I don't know if I like, specifically end them. They fizzle up. [00:27:05] Speaker B: That was gonna be my question. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Hold on. Before you get your thought. Cause I was telling her earlier, I said, I was already at my thought, you stop talking. I seen a post that said it was a picture of the green box and it had bikes around. And it said. And it fucked me up because I had to think about it after I read it. It said, you and your friends didn't know this would be the last time that y'all was gonna do this. [00:27:29] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:27:30] Speaker B: And I was like, yeah, like, when. [00:27:34] Speaker A: Was the last time we all went and rolled bikes and just, yo, I. [00:27:39] Speaker B: Have something like that. Fuck me up. But it wasn't with my friends. It was with my. With my children, somebody. It was a picture dude holding his daughter like, you don't know the last time you gonna pick your child up. [00:27:49] Speaker C: And I was like, fuck, come here. [00:27:52] Speaker A: When the last time you pick Adrian up? 21 year old. [00:27:59] Speaker C: Think about that shit. But yeah, I picked that nigga up every day. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Oh, man. But to the point, back to the question. So I, I say now, it's been a bad habit. But as an adult, I've always, I've hustled a lot. I've always had a job, I've always worked. I have a degree in chemistry, but I've always hustled. And I'm always trying to hustle with my friends. I'm always, if I gotta, if I got something that's gonna get some money, I'm always trying to bring somebody like, yo, right, come on, let's go do this. You feel me? And my wife shout out to her. [00:28:33] Speaker A: That's why he be missing them drinks. [00:28:35] Speaker C: Uh huh. [00:28:36] Speaker A: Do the cutting. I told him. I told him when I posted him. [00:28:41] Speaker B: I said, if I'm new this shit. [00:28:43] Speaker D: I need to know this. [00:28:44] Speaker A: Need to know this shit. [00:28:45] Speaker B: Okay if I'm gonna do this shit. Nah. But yeah, so you know, my wife said, like, you, you know, you always trying to bring your friends. Why don't you do some shit by yourself? And I'm like, that's real life. Because in the last venture, I told you, I used to rap. I used to do everything involved in music. And to the point where I was managing artists, and I had this artist, he had just came home, dope. Probably the dopest nigga I ever heard rapping in front of me. And it was my homeboys, my one of my closest friends that stood next to me when I got married. It was his brother. And we. When yo came home, we put him in the studio. We bought all the studio time. We paid for the videos. Every dollar that had to be spent, we spent it. And we always said to him was, yo, keep your ass in the house. Just don't go back outside, because outside you get you in trouble. Just stay in the house. And we gonna take. We gonna make sure you get to where you going. And we had shows lined up. Sway in the morning. We had this nigga lined up. He couldn't stay in the house. Got killed. [00:29:46] Speaker A: All right? [00:29:46] Speaker B: And we 15 grand in. You see what I'm saying? We 15 grand on this in a short couple of months. And now you're gone. You feel me? And it wasn't even about the roi. I'm not worried about no return on my investment. I didn't put my time and money into something, into somebody who didn't put enough time into themselves. And then his brother wasn't even putting a foot on his neck. You know what I'm saying? For lack of better words. [00:30:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:13] Speaker B: So it was like you was almost helping him do the. And you got just as much money in this, almost as much as me. So what the. And I had to really walk away from that entire situation, the friendship, too, because I'm like, all right, if I keep. Because I kept on trying to go back to, yo, like, let's figure this out. Let's recover from this. I can't recover because you keep Watch the song. You know what I'm saying? You keep stepping backwards. You feel me? And it's like sometimes you gotta really pull yourself away. And like you said, like, letting shit fizzle out. I don't think I've ever gone and said, hey, I can't be your friend anymore. [00:30:52] Speaker A: I don't think none of us. [00:30:53] Speaker B: That feels crazy. [00:30:53] Speaker A: That's bold. Hey, nigga, hey. [00:30:58] Speaker C: We ain't friends. [00:30:59] Speaker B: We ain't wearing friends. I don't fuck with you like I used to fuck with. We can't kick it. [00:31:02] Speaker A: I ain't skating with you. [00:31:03] Speaker B: None of that shit. It would come past my mama crib. But, you know, the communication die out. The phone calls, the text, the group messages, all that fall to the wayside. And. But the thing is, if yo need me, he could pick up the phone and call me eight days a week. You know, I'm answering the phone if he called. So it's. I don't think. To Jeff's point, I don't think you necessarily end friendships. You just move in different directions. And sometimes the directions is in perpendicular directions. [00:31:31] Speaker A: It become one of those things where it's just like, oh, shit, I ain't taught it such and such in a minute. [00:31:35] Speaker B: And. And, geez. And now we got months, days to turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. And that'll be three, four years when we ain't speak but once. You feel me? [00:31:43] Speaker C: I still love you through the distance. [00:31:44] Speaker B: Still love you yeah, still love you. [00:31:46] Speaker A: There's a couple people I know. If they call me right now, it's like, what's up? What you need? I got you. And then there's some people who might call me and be. I shit, I look at that motherfucking phone ring. [00:31:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:57] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? [00:31:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I gotta. If I pick up the phone and call you, hey, motherfucker, you bad, pick up. [00:32:04] Speaker A: I mean, it depends on how I. [00:32:05] Speaker C: Stopped talking to you off of that. [00:32:07] Speaker A: No facts. I get that. I get that. I've been on the other side of that before as well, so I. I get that aspect of it as well. [00:32:15] Speaker C: I will stop talking to you. [00:32:16] Speaker D: So, Jeff, how many times do a person have not to answer the phone before you cut them off? [00:32:22] Speaker C: For me, it's like once. [00:32:24] Speaker D: For real? [00:32:24] Speaker A: For real. Yeah. Damn. I'm the same way. Yo, we just had to come. So listen, we. I extended an invitation to somebody to come to the part. She reached out, that person reached, told, reached back. Said what? They say they wanted to do it, or they didn't want to do it, or they didn't reach out at all. [00:32:44] Speaker D: They really didn't say. They didn't give me a response. [00:32:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And then said they wanted to start their own podcast. [00:32:49] Speaker B: Oh. [00:32:50] Speaker A: And she was like, well, I'm not gonna ask her. I was like, yeah. [00:32:54] Speaker B: No, that's real. That's real. [00:32:56] Speaker C: That's real. [00:32:56] Speaker B: But, like, that's real. Question. It's big. Fuck him, actually. Fuck him, bro. [00:33:00] Speaker D: It's okay. Give me a scenario on which you would cut someone off. [00:33:05] Speaker C: It takes too much in day and age for somebody to call, because everybody knows something. We usually now communicate through text. So if I'm picking up the phone to call, whether it be to hear your voice or just to, like, shoot some or say, hey, I'm on the way, I'm nearby, and you don't answer, it's like, oh, okay. And then it ain't no text to follow back or it ain't no call. [00:33:25] Speaker B: That's what I was waiting for. [00:33:26] Speaker C: Okay, so we good now? Now I see what type of time. [00:33:29] Speaker B: I'm with you on that. Like, you. If you call you, like you said, I'm taking it. [00:33:35] Speaker A: Does it be. It depends. If I know your lifestyle, I'm gonna. [00:33:39] Speaker C: I'm like, deadass. [00:33:40] Speaker A: No, I get that. I get that. I get that. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, for me, if I know your lifestyle, right? Keon can't pick up every five, right. I'm calling. I know he probably cutting heads. So if I pick up. You know what I'm saying? If you don't call me back, he probably forgot. I'm not gonna take that personal. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Right? [00:33:55] Speaker A: But if I'm in the situation where it's like, prime example. I gave you one situation, and this is when I knew, like, I had to stop fucking with this person. I see this person. They don't know that I see them. I'm calling to see you. [00:34:09] Speaker B: Like, oh, where you about to go at? [00:34:11] Speaker A: I'm driving. I'm about to offer them a ride. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:14] Speaker A: They look at their phone and they. [00:34:15] Speaker B: Put that shit down. [00:34:16] Speaker A: And I was like, oh, okay. [00:34:20] Speaker B: I might have pulled up next to the N, hit the horn. [00:34:26] Speaker C: It's like, yeah, like, nah, bro. Cause you going through a conscious. You going through a conscious. No, you put step in hands in his phone. [00:34:32] Speaker B: Yeah, now I feel that. [00:34:33] Speaker C: And it's like, oh, I. [00:34:34] Speaker B: But it takes more than one time. Yeah. For me, like, it takes more than one time. If it's a. If like you said, you're on a dire need. No, I feel that, but I don't. [00:34:45] Speaker D: I can't be. What if I can't be at your back and call? Cause I tell people, all of a sudden, my phone is on do not disturb. Don't call me. You are not gonna get a motherfucking answer. So we will fall out. [00:34:54] Speaker A: My phone. [00:34:55] Speaker C: Don't. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Do not listen. [00:34:56] Speaker C: I ain't say I'm holding myself to the same shit. My phone gonna. [00:35:03] Speaker B: Whole time, it shit on me. Jeff said, I ain't got no friends. I'll call in, they'll call me, and. [00:35:09] Speaker C: I'm okay with that. I tell people at the beginning of when we meet. [00:35:13] Speaker B: That's cool. [00:35:14] Speaker C: I'm an acquired T. Yeah. Yeah. So if you want to be friends with me, you have made a conscious Decision. [00:35:23] Speaker B: I guess with me, it's just more about being genuine. Like, if I'm the one. If I. The only time we talk is when I call you. The only time we talk is when I text you. [00:35:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:32] Speaker B: Then, yeah, my calls to text. No, they're going to get very few. [00:35:36] Speaker A: I love women because they always point out shit that niggas don't see. So I had a friend back in the day, right? [00:35:42] Speaker B: Always. That's their superpower. [00:35:43] Speaker A: Never put two and two together. One day she was like, so you ever notice this only call you on payday? [00:35:50] Speaker B: Yeah. I said, no, no, no, no. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Hell no. [00:35:54] Speaker C: That's my man. [00:35:55] Speaker A: Nah, stop. [00:35:56] Speaker C: I'm starting paying attention. [00:35:57] Speaker B: I'm like, all right, 1, 2, 3. Yo, what we doing? Is that. [00:36:03] Speaker A: Because I was the type of person that if. When we go out, like, for instance, if you ain't had. If I got myself a shirt, I mean, you not about to get the same shirt. I'mma get you or something. [00:36:14] Speaker C: I'm going get you. [00:36:15] Speaker A: Going to Clearance Rack. Yeah, you can go to Clearance Rack. I grab you something. But that's the type of individual I want. [00:36:19] Speaker B: No, I feel that. [00:36:20] Speaker A: But I had never put. Put two and two together because I was just so, like. I just was happy to have somebody to, you know, run the streets with. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:28] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So it was like, when she said that, I said, nah. Then one day, I'm like, I ain't gonna call this today. Yeah, I ain't gonna call him. Get paid damn near the whole day. Almost go by your car. Yo, what we doing tonight? I'm like, I'm broke. [00:36:45] Speaker B: You're not. [00:36:45] Speaker A: For real? Yeah. He like, dang. All right, I'll hit you later. Yeah. [00:36:50] Speaker B: Like, damn. [00:36:51] Speaker A: This really only called me on payday. [00:36:53] Speaker B: Yeah. So you got the drinks? [00:36:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I had to end that relationship. I had to end. [00:36:57] Speaker B: I feel that. [00:36:58] Speaker A: What we got next, T. Next topic. [00:37:01] Speaker D: Is how does your relationship with yourself affect your relationship with others? [00:37:08] Speaker A: All right, so for me, it depends, all right? I'm not gonna lie. I'm a Capricorn, true at heart. So, like, if my money fucked up, fuck everybody. I don't fuck who you are right now. Leave me alone. I'm down here trying to figure out how to get my money back. Right. [00:37:23] Speaker B: I feel that. [00:37:24] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? [00:37:24] Speaker B: I. [00:37:25] Speaker A: It's. It's not that I'm. I don't really fuck with you in a sense. It's just like, again, it kind of goes back to that story I said earlier. With like my homeboy is like, I'm in this fucked up space right now. So I can't even really think to be a friend right now. Right. Like when my money up, it does affect my mood. [00:37:45] Speaker B: I feel that in a sense, I'm. [00:37:47] Speaker A: Not saying I'm about to crash out and beat up type, but it's just like, yeah, I need distance. I need to figure out what the. I need to be doing. Because I did. So I made a move somewhere. [00:37:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:59] Speaker A: And I need to figure out how never not to make that move again. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Right. [00:38:03] Speaker A: That's just. [00:38:03] Speaker C: I don't know if that's zodiac sign. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Oh yeah. Because I'm a Gemini. [00:38:11] Speaker A: I get it. Yeah. Yeah. That attachment to Capricorns, you know, that's just what come with the. This, the sand. But I just know for me personally, if my money up, I'm. I'm just. I'm not trying his right now. [00:38:26] Speaker C: Can you repeat the question one more time? [00:38:28] Speaker D: Of course, of course. How does your relationship with yourself affect your relationship with others? [00:38:35] Speaker C: How's that saying gonna hurt people, hurt. [00:38:37] Speaker A: People, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people. Right. [00:38:38] Speaker C: So. [00:38:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:40] Speaker A: Which is another reason why I stay away. [00:38:41] Speaker C: And then I think the other part of it is. What's that? Birds of a feather. I'm gonna use another phrase, birds of the feather. So you only going. Surrounding yourself around people that are like you. So if you hurt and broken, you only gonna be around hurting broken people and you just gonna attract that. So I think, I think you gotta know how to like do that deep cleanse itself. However you gotta do it, whether you by yourself or it's therapy, however you gotta get through it. You gotta find a way to like cleanse that. Cause then now your relationships will be different. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Nah, that's real. And I look at like. That's very valid. But I approach that question from a completely opposite angle. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Right. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Because I'm typically a happy person. Like, I don't walk around just because you feel me. Like, like I'm normally in a good mood. So I normally want people around me who are in a good mood. You feel me? Like, I gotta. I got a homeboy who's. Who's a very close friend who's not in a good space most of the time. [00:39:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:44] Speaker B: So it's like I sparingly with him. You feel me? And I love him to death, do anything for him if he need me. But being around him drains me sometimes because he stays. [00:39:54] Speaker A: Let's talk about that. [00:39:55] Speaker B: In a bad space. So it's like, yeah, nah, but When I'm on, like, if I'm. If I'm in a. I always say it's a 83, 27. I mean, a 73, 27 split. If I'm in my 73, I don't need the 27. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't. I just don't need that negative space around me because I'm already. I'm only 3/4 of the way where I'm at. So it's very easy for somebody else's negativity to come in and fuck up my 73%. [00:40:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:22] Speaker B: You feel what I'm saying? [00:40:23] Speaker A: But you said something that really piqued my interest about the negativity part. Because again, like, like I said, when my money up, I'm just not in the airspace, so I know not to be around certain. Like if I. If me and you're cool. [00:40:38] Speaker B: Right. [00:40:38] Speaker A: But if me and you had the relationship like you and Keon or, you know, we were closer, I know not to come around. [00:40:44] Speaker B: Right. [00:40:45] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? Because I know mentally, like, my friend is a happy person. I'm not about to go over there and his vibe up. Right. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna stay over here, figure my out, and then when I'm back where I'm at that then I go with you. But I also understand that aspect too, of people can be. Again, to go back to the one friendship that I had to end with a family member, that's the. That was getting on my nerves that I can't do. That blows. Like, I don't know if it was from what my uncle told me or my father told me. They always told me, never say you can't try, try. [00:41:18] Speaker B: You always try. [00:41:19] Speaker A: So when start getting to telling me they problems and they can't do this and they can't do that. I don't want to hear that, bro. [00:41:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:26] Speaker A: If that's the mentality you about to keep rolling with or you like, I think the. The biggest thing since this journey. I've met so many bullshitters on this journey. As far as starting this podcast, simply my fault. [00:41:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:40] Speaker A: I met so many bullshitters. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Jeff's not one of them. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Which is why I fuck with him. Because I told him. I remember the part we did before when Keon was in. I said, yo, I know how hard it is to bring something from here. [00:41:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:51] Speaker A: To. To this. Yeah. You get what I'm saying? It's a reality. Because once I did this, it was like, what the Bro, like, all the excuses you kept making was bullshit. Now when people come. When people was coming with ideas, it would be like, yeah, I want to do this but. [00:42:10] Speaker B: Right? It's always the but. It's always the but. See, I do this with my friend. I'll say that. Like, with my friends, I talk to people. If I talk to them, like, we talk, talk. Me and my friends, we talk, and I tell them all the time, like, sure, if it's something you're going through, holla at me. [00:42:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:25] Speaker B: And I'm not saying I'm gonna fix it for you. I'm gonna try my best to help fix it, but if I can't, I'm gonna try to help. We won't figure out how to fix this shit together. Right? You feel me? I'm not just gonna be like, oh, nah, fuck you. I ain't got nothing for you. It's like, well, no, I don't got it, but let's figure out how to get it. You feel what I'm saying? And I extend myself to my friends to that level. Which is why, like I said earlier, I hold my friendships. I herald my friendships. Like, I hold it to a high regard because I feel that when I carry that with. With all of my friends. You feel me? And Keon is what, literally, I call him my best friend, right? I got another who I call my best friend. These two niggas. But they know I love nigga Jeff. If you call me tomorrow and say, yo, Reese, I'm up. What you need? Yeah, well, I don't got this, but we can go figure. We can go figure some shit out. You know what I'm saying? I'm that same kind of person. That's me. And that's like eight days a week. [00:43:14] Speaker A: I've had people call me, ask me for something. I'm like, yo, well, I. I can't do that for you, but why don't you go try this? [00:43:22] Speaker B: Oh, nah, that's not gonna work right. [00:43:24] Speaker A: Well, you ain't try yet, bro. [00:43:25] Speaker B: I can't do it for you. That's the other side to it. I can't do it for you. Yeah, and I'm not gonna do it for you. [00:43:30] Speaker C: It's like, with the. That I'm doing with, like, my events or something, I be telling motherfuckers just to, like, come through, just pull up, and then what they gonna do? I can't do it. And then they gonna send me a text about this shit. It's like, ah, that's not happening. But to your Point. Damn. One of y'all points. Nah, nah, I forgot the thing that I had was. I'll tell anybody that I meet. I got it now. I'll tell anybody that I meet. And I'm like, hey, how you doing? And they go, ah, whatever. I can't complain. Oh, when somebody says that, I'll be like, yo, I'll give you 15 minutes. Yeah, say whatever. [00:44:06] Speaker B: You get that shit off. Get that shit off. [00:44:09] Speaker C: After that 15 minutes, you gonna lose me. But I'm gonna give you 15. [00:44:13] Speaker B: Everybody, 15 strong minutes. [00:44:15] Speaker C: It ain't gonna do no good at, like, listen, I'm giving you 15 minutes. If you want to rap it, go ahead, but, you know, people don't take it. But I always get at people. [00:44:23] Speaker D: Yeah. And I think that's important because I feel like when we ask that question, it really sometimes is a conversation piece. We really are not asking somebody, how are you doing? [00:44:33] Speaker C: Passing right. [00:44:34] Speaker D: How you doing? Like, it's just. It's just. [00:44:36] Speaker A: It's political. [00:44:37] Speaker B: That's true. But I. And I fought, like. And I realized that. I realized that more so as a bartender, right? Cause I'm the person. [00:44:45] Speaker A: You're a therapist, bro, right? [00:44:47] Speaker B: You come to me, the fuck. I don't matter what the problem is. [00:44:50] Speaker C: I hope they're not coming to you to fuck. [00:44:52] Speaker B: No. [00:44:56] Speaker C: No. Freaky ass nigga. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Not as well. [00:45:04] Speaker C: Here, take this trick every day. [00:45:10] Speaker A: That's crazy to key on here. I know you hear some. No, I know you see that. Like, just be like, what the. I see some. [00:45:26] Speaker B: No, no. But my point is that I say, how you doing? To people, and at work, they just automatically start dumping, right? [00:45:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:35] Speaker B: So I find myself now when I'm like, not at work, when I'm home, and I'll be like, how you doing? They'd be like, no, for real. How you doing? You feel me? I double back on that question because I know most people take it as, like, a passing question. Like, it's like. Like, almost like a rhetorical question. You know me. Like, I'm like, nah, nah. Like, real shit. How you doing? Like, you good? Your people's good? You're filming. I started, like, digging in. And then you realize most ain't good. For real. Like, most people are dealing with some shit. [00:46:01] Speaker A: One of my favorite real skits, this is dude. I can't remember his name. If I did, I would shout him out. But he has a skit where he's coming into work and his boss was like, everything good? He was like, yeah, I broke down on the way over. He Was like, your car all right. He got this little thing, like, he was breaking down in the car crashing. He was like, yeah, yeah. So he was, all right, go ahead, clock in for me. Everybody give it. [00:46:26] Speaker C: Because everybody got their own. [00:46:27] Speaker B: Everybody got their own. Everybody got their own. [00:46:29] Speaker C: And then to your point, I remember, and I wrapped this one up. When you not feeling good, like. Like you're not speaking. I know my energy. Like, I know how I am, and I always like to meet you at the energy that I want to be. [00:46:41] Speaker B: Like, man, all the time. [00:46:43] Speaker C: Where you know me. And then when my shit is low, one, you can feel it. And then two, it's like, damn, I don't want to put that on you. [00:46:49] Speaker A: So that's my thinking. [00:46:50] Speaker C: I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's like, I don't think it's. [00:46:53] Speaker A: I mean, I think if it gets to a space where you start considering certain things. Yeah. [00:46:59] Speaker C: Where it's detrimental to you. [00:47:00] Speaker A: Yeah. That's when it becomes bad. But I've never gone. [00:47:03] Speaker B: There's nothing wrong with taking. [00:47:05] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:47:06] Speaker A: And I know it's a roller coaster. I know I'm a hint. I just want to be here, and then I just want to be there. You know what I'm saying? So I just know. Even when I'm in my funk, I just know, like, I'm gonna come out of it eventually. You know what I'm saying? That's just how shit go. [00:47:19] Speaker B: Nah. I found myself having to take time, like, for myself, because being the way I like being upbeat, how I normally am, when I go in places, people start expecting that from me. You know what I'm saying? [00:47:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:33] Speaker B: I don't hate it because you set that precedence. [00:47:36] Speaker A: All right, you right. You right. I give you that. I just don't like it. Because if I just decide to come in quiet one day. [00:47:42] Speaker B: Yeah, nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong. I just don't feel like. And so without what I had to get to the space of that. I know that people are going to expect me to come in a certain way, and if I know I'm not going to show up even partially that way, then I'm not showing. I'll holler at y'all when I'm back in the better place, like, And I just had to be real with myself. Like, okay, if you have that thought that something's wrong that you're not even addressing yourself right, like, so go figure that shit out. Because what you don't want to do is Take it out on the people around you. A lot of people have that issue where they don't know how to even acknowledge what they feeling to themselves. So it becomes an issue with everybody around them. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Right. [00:48:19] Speaker B: Here's what I'm saying. And that's where shit get unhealthy and get immature. [00:48:25] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:48:25] Speaker B: You feel me? [00:48:26] Speaker C: But I do appreciate those. When, if I do walk into space and I'm not the self that, you know, somebody go, that reach out. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Hey, you good? [00:48:34] Speaker C: You good? [00:48:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:35] Speaker C: And it'd be like that I only need that one person if I do show up like that. [00:48:39] Speaker B: Nah, absolutely. [00:48:40] Speaker C: Fuck no, I ain't. [00:48:43] Speaker B: At all. [00:48:44] Speaker C: And then it's like, okay, now I feel good that I got that off. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Yeah. But that's why, you know, like as men, we appreciate spaces like the barbershop and you feel me? Because certain spaces we can go in and be genuine and whatever it is we dealing with and you know, it works for us. And people who don't have that, I feel sorry for them. [00:49:02] Speaker A: What we got next? [00:49:03] Speaker C: Find your place. [00:49:03] Speaker B: If you don't have Find your place. [00:49:05] Speaker C: Find a place for you. [00:49:05] Speaker B: Find a place and find your people. [00:49:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:08] Speaker B: Namaste. Namaste. [00:49:11] Speaker D: Our next topic is what relationship made you become self aware to your toxic traits? [00:49:18] Speaker C: Ooh, that's a good one. [00:49:20] Speaker B: But I'm gonna keep it a buck. The relationship with my father. All right, Relationship with my father. Because my father, I always said my father was a great daddy. He was a terrible husband. All right? And I realized he wasn't even a great dad for real. He did his best. But my father, military, war vet, he had a drug issue most of my life. Right. He was present as much as he could be, but the drugs took precedence. Whenever they took precedence. [00:49:51] Speaker A: Shit. [00:49:52] Speaker C: He was a war bad guy. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Yeah. He came home fucked up and he dealt with that up until the point he died. He was clean for a couple of years before he passed away, but just a couple of years and I found myself. I had a license at 15. I was taking him to rehabs. I was taking him cigarettes every Saturday to the rehab. I spent my weekends at rehabs, you know what I'm saying? Visiting my pops. Because I heralded him that much because when he was home, he was great. So I found myself trying to be all of the good qualities that I thought he was and the bad qualities I made excuses for. And I thought, like, this was just part of, of who he was and it's part of me because I'm him. I'm a junior I got his name. So no matter what I do. And my mother definitely loyal. So my mother stayed next to him from start to finish. You know what I'm saying? And I'm like, in my mind, my girl gonna be right here regardless of what the fuck I do, because my mom stayed right there regardless of what the fuck he did. And he did his best when he was here, but his best wasn't always good. You see what I'm saying? So it's like, nah, I'm gonna do my best and I'm gonna make. I'm gonna do what I think is my best for this moment, but I'm gonna go satisfying and I'm going to lean into that whenever I want to. Because you better be here and deal with my. Because I take care of you. Because I make sure all of this. The lights come on in this. And that's what my father was. He made sure the bills got paid no matter what. So. And in my mind, he did you filming, but real time, whole time, it's my mother. You feel me? But as the kid, I don't see that because my mother didn't show me that part of my father. [00:51:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:20] Speaker B: You feel me? So it's like once I. Once I settled with. With who he was and I realized who I was from that, I was like, yo, I got a lot of shit with me that I need to go figure the fuck out. [00:51:33] Speaker A: Not to cut you off, right? [00:51:34] Speaker C: But to cut you off. [00:51:35] Speaker A: Cause you made me think of something. And I'm gonna let you get back to your point. [00:51:39] Speaker B: Nah, I. We good. I got to my point. We good. [00:51:45] Speaker C: We ain't going too deep over here. Do you think. [00:51:49] Speaker A: Think as parents we do a disservice to kids when it comes to trying to protect them from certain aspects? If you. Do you think your yes. Perspective would have been different if you knew what was actually going on? Yeah. [00:52:03] Speaker C: Yes and no. [00:52:04] Speaker B: So my perspective would have been different. But so like I said earlier, I realized that my mother did the absolute best that she could do with what she had. And I don't just mean like her physical means, like her money or whatever that she had. I mean, with her knowledge base, with her parents and skills, the. The. Because she had her own trauma story. [00:52:23] Speaker C: Right? [00:52:24] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Like, my mom was adopted and some other shit happened in her childhood. So the best version of a parent that she knew how to be is what she showed up as. And that wasn't always what I needed. You see what I'm saying? It's what she thought I needed in the moment. But in hindsight, I realized that there's things that she could have done that would have helped me be different. But she did the best that she could do. So I don't hold it. I don't hold her to a fault, you see? [00:52:49] Speaker C: I mean, you can't. [00:52:49] Speaker A: Yeah, you can't. [00:52:50] Speaker B: I don't hold her to a fault, but I do feel like that if I would have known more, I would have been able to do different. Yeah. Yeah. So much better to go back to. [00:53:01] Speaker A: My story about my dad. If I would have known my pops had help. [00:53:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:06] Speaker A: Asking for help would have never would. [00:53:07] Speaker B: Have been so hard. Right? Absolutely. Absolutely. [00:53:10] Speaker A: What you about to say, Jeff? [00:53:12] Speaker C: I don't know. I'm torn between the two. [00:53:14] Speaker A: I mean. [00:53:15] Speaker C: Yeah. Because it's like, yo, you. [00:53:17] Speaker A: So are you torn between the two because of just how you were raised in a sense? [00:53:21] Speaker C: No, because, I mean, it's the same thing. You know, your parents, they do their best to protect you from, like, what the reality is. Right. Because again, they don't want to put that trauma on you at a young age. But does it do a disservice to you when you get older? Yeah, I think what I wish that would have happened was like a small conversation, right? [00:53:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:43] Speaker C: Maybe not to the full blown extent to like, sit down, have a conversation instead of this band aid being pulled off. [00:53:51] Speaker A: Right. [00:53:51] Speaker C: Or whatever the case. And then you had like. And gears go on, and then you have to go back and connect the dots. And then once you do that, you like, damn. Well, that's where that pain comes from. Like, that's where that trauma. Maybe if there was like a small conversation that. That says, hey, you know, so we struggling right now a little bit, but, you know, we working our way through. And I might have to reach out to Nana for something, but, you know, we still chugging away at it. I know. That's what I do, right? [00:54:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:19] Speaker B: No, so I do that with my children. [00:54:20] Speaker C: I tell my son all the time, it's like, listen, go ahead. We struggling a little bit. [00:54:24] Speaker B: You know. [00:54:29] Speaker C: It'S like, yo, we struggling a little bit. Like, this is what happened. It's not going the way I planned, but, you know, we still sticking through it. We finding a way. Like some little help coming here. Some little help coming here. And I got something coming down the pipeline. He'd be like, all right, but I'd rather us have that conversation. And then instead of when hit the fan. [00:54:48] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:54:48] Speaker C: What's going on? [00:54:49] Speaker A: Cause like, I Ain't gonna hold you. And just. I'm gonna finish it here. Like, Adrian, my dad really never taught me about money. He made a lot of money. He was good with his money, but he never taught me not at all about money. [00:55:03] Speaker C: Money. [00:55:05] Speaker A: And I can say I'm learning, but I'm not gonna say I'm completely bad. But I'm bad, right? But with my son, because he work at the shop sometimes, he wanted to buy some V bucks. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna buy some V bucks. I'm like, how much are they? He like, $40. I'm like, how much you got? 45. I said, Adrian, no. I said, you're gonna. You. All your money's gone. [00:55:29] Speaker B: Excuse me. [00:55:30] Speaker A: You haven't worked. You haven't brought no more money in. So how you gonna spend that money? And now be left with $5? I said, you want to be left with $5 or you want $40? I said, you can maybe spend $10 on some V bucks. But still, that's tapping into what you had said, you know what I'm saying? Because you haven't worked. And then he was like, okay, I understand that. So. But we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna be right back. We got, like, two more segments for y'all, and we'll be back. [00:56:09] Speaker B: Okay. [00:56:10] Speaker A: All right. Y'all be back. We're gonna continue this wholesome conversation. Yeah, some of us are getting emotional. Shout out to Tony. I think it's a good conversation. [00:56:25] Speaker B: No, it's a great conversation. [00:56:26] Speaker A: It's a healthy conversation. [00:56:27] Speaker C: It's conversations that we need to have. [00:56:29] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:56:31] Speaker C: Yeah. You don't gotta hold this. And I say this when we do. Like, when I do these finance events, I start off with saying, hey, we need to have these conversations. You know, we in a safe space, so have them. Find somebody you can have these conversations with. [00:56:45] Speaker A: You know what's crazy? Because when you say that, it just led me to politics for some reason. But in my mind, I wonder if we are kind of conditioned to not. Not talk about certain things we need to talk about just from how the country is as a culture. [00:57:02] Speaker C: No, because I don't think it's that. I mean, I think culture and society has something to do with it, but it also comes with, hey, like, you don't tell nobody what's going on inside your house. [00:57:11] Speaker B: That's that part. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Because, you know, you always got a safe face. You got to keep up with the job. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it's that part. I mean, it's another side of it too though, because like, it's enough going on where I don't even be wanting to think about that when I'm on my regular chill time time, you know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, cuz my wife is in politics. Heavy professionally. If I don't have to be involved, you know, like, if I don't have to have that conversation. I'm not trying to have that conversation because I'm having that conversation so much much every day. Every day at home. So it's like, bro, is she wise? [00:57:42] Speaker A: Jubilee? [00:57:43] Speaker B: No, she. [00:57:45] Speaker A: I'mma send you a never. [00:57:47] Speaker B: I don't know if I should, but send it. It. [00:57:50] Speaker A: It's a. It's one independent versus 20 conservatives. And they have a conversation back and forth. He talks to 20 different conservatives. And when I say that shit is like mind blowing. Yeah, it's mind blowing. [00:58:06] Speaker B: I'll watch it first and then see. [00:58:07] Speaker A: If it's something I should get. I was about to say I'll send it to you. So I don't know if you want her to watch that, but. T, what's our next question? [00:58:15] Speaker D: The next question is, how did the relationships you witnessed as a child affect you as an adult? [00:58:23] Speaker A: Sorry, did we all answer, like what we learned about ourselves? Talk, like from. [00:58:28] Speaker C: Oh yeah, my family, they didn't tell me. I'm tired. Like. And then it's like people I know, they always come up and say, yo, Jeffy Ryan. All right, I get it. But you know, you learn how to like pull that back, right? So I've learned how to like pull back, you know, like my brass personality or whatever the case may be. So it comes from. For me, it stems from my family. Like my entire family. [00:58:52] Speaker A: Okay. For me, it's not one said person to answer the question. Cause I think you answered yours. Yeah, my first serious relationship, I learned. Cause I went from being in high school, I was like 190. Went from 190, like 350. [00:59:11] Speaker B: Okay. Damn. Yeah, that sounds a little cow. [00:59:17] Speaker A: That particular person accepted me as 350. [00:59:21] Speaker B: Word. [00:59:22] Speaker A: And when I got tired of being 350, I went from 350 to like 240. [00:59:26] Speaker C: Okay, and then you changed up and left her? [00:59:29] Speaker A: Essentially. But I realized some things about myself. I realized, you know, attention was a thing for me at the time. I realized that I was a little manipulative. Just. Just a bunch of things. [00:59:50] Speaker C: You were manipulative at three? [00:59:53] Speaker A: No, when I lost the weight, I was. Well, so. [00:59:56] Speaker C: All right. [00:59:56] Speaker A: So being 350, of course, wasn't the most attractive. So I had to learn how to talk. [01:00:02] Speaker C: Okay. [01:00:03] Speaker A: I got really good at talking. Combine that now with someone who just went from 350 to 240 and pretty much got a six pack in muscles. I know how to. I know how to talk. So now I know that I know how to talk and I know that I look good. So now I'm abusing that. [01:00:28] Speaker C: Okay, I get where you're going. [01:00:29] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? I'm abusing that to manipulate people who I know don't think they're the most attractive. You know what I'm saying? So it's like I knew I was coming into a space. Like, it goes back to that conversation with the ugly chick. I know she knows she ugly, so now she has me and she's like, I need to do everything I need to do to keep him. [01:00:52] Speaker B: She's just happy to be here. [01:00:54] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:00:55] Speaker C: So your top secret is or was being manipulative. [01:01:00] Speaker A: Yes. [01:01:00] Speaker D: Okay, which one it was or it currently is? [01:01:04] Speaker A: Was. I don't think I'm in that space. Space anymore. [01:01:07] Speaker D: Okay. [01:01:07] Speaker A: I think I'm in the space of like, I want what I want. 1. I learned well, 1, 2. In that. When I was in that space. You. You never know who's going to take things. To a certain extent, it's like, okay, in my mind, I'm playing this game, but to this other person, this is not a game. [01:01:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:26] Speaker A: And it's like you played with me and now there are repercussions because you played with me. [01:01:31] Speaker B: Right. [01:01:31] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So I've had several different experiences. Too bad. Like. Like, things have. Things could have led to people being hurt and. Or in jail type of situation. [01:01:41] Speaker B: Right. [01:01:42] Speaker A: So after a while, I just got. [01:01:45] Speaker C: You know, Tony was out here catfishing. [01:01:50] Speaker A: But yeah, I think that was my. My toxic trait. I learned about myself that. [01:01:54] Speaker B: Well. [01:01:55] Speaker A: It was really just realizing that I had a issue with attention. I thought I didn't want it, but I did. [01:02:05] Speaker C: Because you didn't have it when you had three. [01:02:09] Speaker A: No, actually it stemmed from my childhood. There was moments where, like, I spoke and I felt like no one was listening. I think the most. The biggest experience, the one experience that sticks out in my mind to this day. I remember my cousin, and I understand now, but back then I didn't. I had a cousin that asked my grandmother, like, my. He didn't ask, but he was like, I never seen 100 before. And she gave him $100. So I'm like, well, I ain't never seen nothing before. And she was like, get out my face. [01:02:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:45] Speaker A: But in my mind, it was like, why he get the hundred dollars? And I didn't get that. [01:02:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:50] Speaker A: Not realizing, though, that I lived with her. [01:02:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:53] Speaker A: Because my father was booked at the time, but I lived with her, and like I said earlier, I got everything I wanted. [01:03:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:01] Speaker A: Never wanted for nothing. She takes. [01:03:04] Speaker B: She literally takes care of me. [01:03:06] Speaker A: But at the time, seeing that exchange. [01:03:08] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:08] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? [01:03:10] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:10] Speaker A: It was like, oh, oh, he must be your favorite. [01:03:13] Speaker B: Right. So that's why, to Jeff's point earlier, a small conversation should have been had. You know what I'm saying? But your grandmother should have said, hey, you get a hundred dollars from me every day in the form of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he don't. So I wanted him to see that, you feel me. Like, just. Even if you don't agree with it, just offer some level of understanding. [01:03:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:31] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? [01:03:32] Speaker A: But I realized that's where that attention comes from. [01:03:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:35] Speaker C: Absolutely. [01:03:36] Speaker D: Yeah. But I also think that, like, the older generation, we're taught not to question them or, you know, ask questions or look at as us being defiant. [01:03:48] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:48] Speaker D: So, yeah. You know, so. [01:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah. That's pretty much. Yeah. [01:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:54] Speaker C: Get that spirit about you. The devil, man. [01:03:57] Speaker A: What we got. [01:03:57] Speaker D: Next stop. How did the relationships that you witness as a child affect your. Affect you as an adult with. With romantic relationships and friendships? I want to read that again. How did the relationships that you witnessed as a child affect you as an adult with romantic relationships and friendships? [01:04:17] Speaker A: Okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go first with that online. So I got to see two versions. I'm sorry. I got to see two versions of love when it comes to romantic side. Because like I said earlier about my pops being booked, I stay with my grandmother. She's older. She's in a marriage with a man that's older than her. So I got to see old school, I guess you would say, in a sense. Then once my pops came home, got his together, I moved with him and my stepmom. I seen young love. [01:04:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:49] Speaker A: So to answer the question, in that perspective of romantic, I have old tendencies, but I had toxic young tendencies, if that makes sense, in the sense of, like, when my pops used to get mad, he watched the show. Sorry, dad. He would throw the phone. So my. Because he didn't hit women. So my stepmom will make him mad. I look like. No, I'm on the phone with a girl. You feel Me. But finally got her like, yeah, they arguing. [01:05:27] Speaker B: Where the phone at? He kept looking for the phone. [01:05:31] Speaker A: I'm gonna have to call you back. I'm gonna have to call you back. Short, yo. There you go. Snap. Break the phone. Like. [01:05:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:41] Speaker A: I'm like, oh. Like, that's. And I thought, too, the arguing that happened, that meant you love me. [01:05:50] Speaker B: Okay. That's what love looked like. [01:05:52] Speaker A: Because I actually never saw my grandparents. Like, when I think about. I never saw my grandparents argue. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:57] Speaker A: I've never seen them argue. Yeah. But with my dad, my stepmom. Yes. I remember she grabbed Sternberg. Like, that shit with Kevin Hartman. He said that shit was so funny. [01:06:05] Speaker B: To me because I experienced that shit. Yeah. So that's funny. [01:06:09] Speaker A: But friendship wise, sometimes I thought I was too loyal. [01:06:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:17] Speaker A: I thought I was too, like, one of the biggest disappointments. My neighbor. I was really cool with her. I with her, and I would do anything she asked me to do. I don't know why. Every time she got a boyfriend, I got cool with these. I don't know why, but them thought I was the coolest. So this one particular day, she invited me to a cookout, and her is there. But I notice everybody is in this space, and she's over there, and I'm like, what the. She out there? So then they come, yo, I don't even know why you with her. What? I don't know why you were. She be talking about how she ignore you when she. When you come knocking the door. [01:06:59] Speaker B: She be home. [01:07:00] Speaker A: Home. But she be acting like she's not home. Like, he started breaking down, and I was just like, like, okay, like, maybe I'm. Maybe I'm too loyal, so. [01:07:11] Speaker B: Those butt hurt. It wasn't you. That was him. I just was like, I'm telling you. [01:07:19] Speaker A: I was really up about it, because I'm like, yo, I would never do no like that to you now. [01:07:23] Speaker B: I feel that. But you got to look at the motivate. Why would he say that to you? [01:07:26] Speaker A: I mean, you absolutely right, in a sense, but I just. I don't know, because at the time, it's like every. Literally every boyfriend she ever had was cool with me. [01:07:34] Speaker B: Right? [01:07:34] Speaker A: Like, they was always cool with me. But, you know, that was that situation. But y'all go. Y'all go ahead. [01:07:41] Speaker C: I think it, like, I guess and, like, the stem of, like, relationship. I think all relationships stem from what's in the house, you know, like, that's the reason why you buy the soap you buy or whatever the case may be. But the relationship the soap. The soap, the detergent in the house. So the first point of restaurants are your parents. [01:08:02] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. [01:08:03] Speaker C: So for me, it was, you know, that was the first thing I saw. My parents separated when I was three. Like Christmas. [01:08:10] Speaker A: Yeah, damn Christmas. [01:08:12] Speaker C: It was like, you remember that? Hell yeah. [01:08:14] Speaker A: Damn. [01:08:17] Speaker C: I might not remember everything, but when they knock at the door and they ask for your dad and they go, hey, you gotta get your stuff. You only gotta. [01:08:25] Speaker B: Oh, the boys came. Yeah, my mom had him removed. [01:08:28] Speaker C: My. Yeah, so that's why you remember that shit. Yeah, you don't forget that. [01:08:34] Speaker B: You remember trauma. [01:08:35] Speaker A: You remember trauma. [01:08:36] Speaker C: You remember trauma. So it comes from that. And then like to your point, you think that arguing and shit is normal, and then it's not. You realize that it's not. So if I use my parents as a base of saying, okay, this, this, and it's like. But it's got to be another side to it, right? I don't know where I see that other side or I'll see, you know, like, your friends. Because you only have a few friends that got both parents. That's again, cuz you only going associate yourself with people that's alike, right? So you take like, glimpses from what you see, like, oh, okay. But then you start to grow up and then you just reimagine what you then want. [01:09:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:09:16] Speaker C: And then. So for me, it's if. But I'll say this to my parents point. Once they got divorced, they put all their shit to the side for the kids. They was like, hey, I don't give a fuck what we went through. We gotta make sure we show up for these kids. My parents, till this day can be in the same room. We still spend holidays together. Like, that shit is completely normal in my world. But somebody be like, hey, that shit ain't normal. I like, damn, y'all folks don't do that. But for me, it's normal. So, like, my parents, like, start from, like, that is the crux of. Of where I got the development of relationships. And then I just grew to something that I wanted. [01:09:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:56] Speaker C: And then go ahead. [01:09:59] Speaker A: No, I was gonna keep on feeling. [01:10:01] Speaker C: And then for friendships, it's. [01:10:02] Speaker A: That's what. That's what I was getting to. [01:10:04] Speaker C: Yeah. So we can already sell. I don't have a bunch of friends. [01:10:08] Speaker A: All right? [01:10:09] Speaker C: But there's only one friendships that I see that like, lasts the test of time. It's my brother and. And his best friend. [01:10:16] Speaker A: Right? [01:10:16] Speaker C: And the best friend, I'm not going to like, put out names, but he's like a very published. Well, author. Like a very published author. New York best selling. [01:10:27] Speaker B: New York Times best selling author that. [01:10:30] Speaker C: Got that Don Roer from Marvel, whole bunch of. But their relationship started when they were like, six, you know, before I was born. And so, like, they've been super friends. And then, like, when my brother, when he was like, up, up, he took care of, you know, him, like, he was like, starting, you know, his writing, getting signed, getting his deals and shit like that, you know, going through the ups and downs of, like, being an author. And then now it's like, switch. [01:11:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:01] Speaker C: It's like, oh, I got you. And that shit don't change. And we were just talking about it, like, last week. That shit don't change. And I had to like, salute and give my hat to that saying. It's like, bro, like, this dynamic y'all got, this is fire. [01:11:13] Speaker B: It's fire. Yeah, yeah. [01:11:15] Speaker C: It's like, I don't give a how high I may think I am. I know where I was and you was there, and vice versa. And so, like, that is friendship for me at the highest level. [01:11:27] Speaker A: So Reese's point, why don't you think we see it a lot? [01:11:30] Speaker C: Because that. Because it is to the point. I'm sorry. All right. I think it's to that point. Point that you touched on earlier when you was like, oh, I'm going through my right. And it's like, yo, come out Vegas. And it's like, nah, Like, I can't. And so then we get to distancing ourselves. We get to getting in our way, and then why we can't be friends? Because the person that's up. What I've come to realize, you just want genuine people around you. And then I see you as a genuine person. [01:11:58] Speaker B: But I mean, I'm gonna be a little. A little more primal than that as men. It's about pride and ego. You know what I'm saying? Like, and. And I hate to, like, to even dumb shit down to that point, but it's the truth. Like, just like to Tony's point earlier, like, segments ago, when your money fucked up and your man and he up and you know that you not where you want to be, and you holding him as, like, he's the bar, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's. He's the standard that's being set, and I don't meet that standard, so I need to withdraw and go get my together. That's pride. That's ego. [01:12:35] Speaker C: Okay? [01:12:36] Speaker B: Like, that's. That's like, like very Literally, that's what it is. [01:12:39] Speaker A: I'm going say this because you're right. That's one aspect of it. And a sec. For me, I don't know if this is for anybody else. My pops taught me. He used to tell me, like, there's no reason for you to ever be jealous of a. Right. Because you could go out here and do the same thing and maybe even be better than the person that's doing it. Even though that's not my thought process. But that's how. That's what I grew up. So for me, I never wanted to develop any type of jealousy, right? Or envious, you know, because most people don't know. And y'all might disagree with me, but jealousy and envy is two different things. [01:13:20] Speaker B: I was about to say that, but I ain't gonna cut you off. Actually, I had that exact thought in my head. [01:13:23] Speaker A: Yeah. So jealousy, envy obvious. Because jealousy is for people out there. Jealousy is normally rooted in you don't want this person to have. [01:13:31] Speaker B: Yeah, jealousy is malicious. Right. [01:13:33] Speaker A: Envy is more. So you're not mad at someone having something, but you just want what they got. Yeah, you want what they got. [01:13:39] Speaker B: You want what they got. There's nothing wrong with that because you can use that as motivation to get what it is you acted. It's just that shouldn't impede relationships. Like when relationships. To me, this is just my opinion. When relationships are genuine, envy should not be a factor inside a relationship. And if it is a factor, it's not a genuine relationship. [01:13:58] Speaker A: Hold on. But for you, do women experience that? Do you think women experience that? Experience what we're talking about, in a sense of when y'all money fucked up, y'all don't want to be around your friends or not trying to develop a sense of enviness, Enviousness, Envy. Envy, sorry. Or jealousy. [01:14:23] Speaker D: Like, for me, personally, I can't speak for all women. I can only speak for myself. I don't experience envy when it pertains to my friends, their money, or their success. I think the only time that I may measure myself up to someone else financially is when I'm in a relationship with them romantically. Then I may feel some sort of pressure to maybe withdraw and then get my shit together. But I've never had a. All of my friends, for the most part, have some sense of success. And no matter where I've been in that journey, I've never felt like I had to isolate myself from them because they may be doing better than me. Because my friends always bring me along to Try to uplift me in some way. And that's the foundation of true friendship, in my opinion. But I've never experienced jealousy because somebody's doing better than me. I've always promoted my friends to do better in whatever respective area that they're in in their life. [01:15:23] Speaker B: Okay? [01:15:23] Speaker A: Women do it differently. [01:15:25] Speaker B: So I can attest to that. Because, like, I mean, I'm not a woman, but, like, paying attention to the women around me. And like, in my life, you see more versions of what genuine and disingenuous friendships look like with women. Right. And what I mean by that is, is women don't hold their cards the way with each other the way men do. Right. You might not never know how I really feel about you. You feel what I'm saying? Like, not saying you, Jeff, but I'm just saying man to man, you might not know my disdains that I have, because there's no need for me to sit here and tell you what I don't fuck with about you. I just live in my interactions with you. Women don't do that shit. Women that I've witnessed, and I'm not speaking for all women, just in my experience, when they don't with another woman, you see that they don't with that woman. But. And, but when they with a woman, you see that. You know what I'm saying? Like, you see, there's nothing they won't do. I don't give a. If she got a dollar, she got a thousand, they got a thousand and one dollars together. Right? You know what I'm saying? And they act like that, both of them. Not the one that's up, not the one that's down. They both act like that. And it's not a thing where it's like, shorty, I know if I ain't got it and she got it, we both going. We both gonna act like we both got it. And I see that with women way more than I see that with men. Men. And it's. It's like, it's a spectacle to me. It's almost like, God damn, I wish I could be like that with a. But I can't be like that with a. Like, if I. If I got it and you don't, it's only so many times I got you. [01:16:43] Speaker A: I think, I think the problem. I think the issue with men, most of the times we don't really meet a lot. Not that we don't meet, but it's hard to decipher because of how logical we are. It's hard to decipher of who was really here for us and who really isn't. [01:17:02] Speaker B: Right? [01:17:03] Speaker A: So it's like when you're trying to figure that aspect of it out, you kind of create this narrative in your mind, like, oh, I can't say this, or I can't be. You know, I can't do this because this might be lame, right? This might be up. Whatever the case may be, this is the cost. Like, this is the thought process in this sense. You get what I'm saying? Because like you said earlier, if you got a thousand and I got a dollar, we got a thousand and one. Yeah, but with men, it's, nah, you. [01:17:32] Speaker B: I got a thousand, you got a dollar, so you might have a hundred. Not mine, I got nine. [01:17:35] Speaker A: But now. But then on top of that, it's also too the. The. Again, the logical thought process. Or maybe the insecurity. Let's speak more to the insecurity. It's probably more to the insecurity of now. You starting to think everything this nigga do is trying to shit on you. [01:17:53] Speaker B: Yeah, up. Hey, it goes back to what it's the pride and ego. [01:18:00] Speaker C: Okay? [01:18:01] Speaker B: That's men as a man. That's our biggest downfall is our pride and ego, bro. [01:18:05] Speaker A: But I'm telling you, that's. That's the thought process. Yeah, no, it is a start doing you thinking a trying like, like, like, damn, Jeff, I got this. [01:18:14] Speaker C: You feel me? [01:18:15] Speaker A: Look, Jeff. So thinking like, damn, why the you keep showing me this watch? But you get. [01:18:22] Speaker C: Why the you keep showing me this watch, bro? [01:18:24] Speaker D: All right. [01:18:24] Speaker C: Yeah, you bought the Cartier watch. [01:18:26] Speaker A: Cool, whatever. And then it starts turning into that. But go ahead. [01:18:29] Speaker C: And I'm using, like, my brother and his best friend for, like, a prime example. It's like, bro. But they had these moments of vulnerability. How vulnerable are you willing to get with this quote, unquote, best friend that. [01:18:42] Speaker A: You have most niggas not. [01:18:44] Speaker C: Because that will, like, help out the relationship where, like, that shit don't matter that. Or you're saying, oh, hey, I got it. If I got a thousand. Hey, bro, we got a thousand, bro. Yeah, let. Let. Let it be known what we. What we doing tonight. [01:18:57] Speaker B: What we going? We going to the casino. [01:18:58] Speaker C: Let's rock out. We got $1,000 to, like, play with, bro. Like, that's the. That I see, like, every time. [01:19:04] Speaker A: But I think also too, the. The. [01:19:06] Speaker C: And I know, like, their relationship, but. [01:19:08] Speaker B: The friend who got a dollar with men, the man, the dude who has the dollar is probably not going to tell a who got a thousand. There all he has is a dollar. [01:19:15] Speaker C: No, I'm saying general how I believe that a friendship should be. It's like, hey, if you. But if we friends, I already know you don't have it. [01:19:27] Speaker B: No, that. That's real. If we real friends, I already know your situation. You ain't gotta say. [01:19:32] Speaker A: But the issue is, though, as the friend that doesn't have it, how secure are you within yourself to say it? Because again, now the problem. Sorry. The problem is some people start creating narratives in their minds that don't really exist. So it's like, yeah, Jeff got the band, I got the dollar. Now everything Jeff do. It kind of looks like you trying to on me. [01:19:55] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. [01:19:56] Speaker A: I'm saying you're not. [01:19:57] Speaker B: That's not what you're saying. But you can't let that seep in. [01:20:00] Speaker C: No, no. [01:20:01] Speaker A: I'm just saying that's some people's thought process. [01:20:03] Speaker B: But that's a lot of people thought process. [01:20:05] Speaker A: That's a lot of men. [01:20:06] Speaker D: That's insecurity. [01:20:06] Speaker C: That's the insecurity. [01:20:08] Speaker A: It is. [01:20:08] Speaker B: Because you got. [01:20:10] Speaker C: Cause you should already know how we are as far as. [01:20:15] Speaker B: That's why you don't have a lot of friends. Like, this is why. Because. And that's fair. That's a very fair position to take. Because most people aren't secure enough to be real with themselves first. Because you gotta be real with you first. Like, back to the other question. You have to know you. [01:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:20:31] Speaker B: Before anybody else can know you, you have to know you. [01:20:34] Speaker A: Absolutely. [01:20:35] Speaker C: And I want to say this, like, to the point, like the guy with the dollar, it's like, like, oh, I'm not. I'm. I'm not solely dependent on a thousand dollars for you to, like, take care. I want to, like, make sure. Because you still going. You still got to get out here. You still got to grind. You still got to hold your weight. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, yo, if we friends and we rocking, bro. [01:20:55] Speaker B: I got you. Yeah. [01:20:56] Speaker A: But I just think the reality is because we've seen these scenarios play out a thousand times, especially like in the drug game, you know what I'm saying? Most of the time, why is the person that killed the other person. Person Is because we. We came up in this game together and you shining. I'm not. [01:21:16] Speaker B: I'm not. [01:21:16] Speaker A: And I'm feeling some kind of way about you shining now. Because I'm telling you, the thought process is. Is turning things that you think is just trying to motivate people. [01:21:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:28] Speaker A: They're turning into something else. [01:21:29] Speaker C: It don't even just gotta be like drug. You can go to the, to the book, Cain and Abel. [01:21:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:21:34] Speaker C: Rather than getting the attention. [01:21:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:36] Speaker A: Whoever Getting the attention. [01:21:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:37] Speaker A: And a lot of people don't understand, like that person just may be charismatic and who they are. You can't be upset because A is charismatic or they know they. Because you don't know your. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's just, that's at the end. [01:21:52] Speaker C: Of the day, if we friends, bro, it ain't nothing for us to be jealous about. [01:21:57] Speaker B: No, that's in the perfect world. Absolutely. [01:21:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [01:21:59] Speaker B: I just think that's why I always say, you know, I, I have friends. [01:22:02] Speaker A: Friends. [01:22:02] Speaker B: But most people are just. I know I have friends. You know what I'm saying? But most of the time it's just. I know because I don't even. That might be my toxic trait. [01:22:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:14] Speaker B: Like as soon as I see any sign of immaturity or insecurity in a, in a. In a man, get the. From around me. Because that will be your detriment. [01:22:23] Speaker C: Yeah. Anybody will tell you, like, hey, I'm like. And I had like, I had a shorty like, tell me one time, she was like, yo, you don't had no friends, but you always call your family. And for me, like my family. I like my friend. So like, if I use like this, like now I hold this word friend near and dear. It's like I'm not just coming out the blue sand, like furnishing cuz for me, it's a deeper meaning to it. [01:22:46] Speaker A: Than it should be. [01:22:47] Speaker C: Because we locked in. Like, it ain't no jealousy. No. I mean, you at a clean space, bro. I'm giving you grace. I want this. That same grace. [01:22:54] Speaker B: Right. [01:22:55] Speaker C: Like we, we, we here. It's like whoever I let in this bubble, it's like, you're not going nowhere. I'm too old for the insecurity and the things of the games. Like you want me to do for you. You're not. Oh no, we good. Like, that's why I say like if I. That's why to the beat, to the earlier point, bro, if I call you and you don't pick up or you don't give me that like, call back, bro. Like it only take once for me. [01:23:22] Speaker A: Which is. I mean, I get it too. Because that's why. [01:23:25] Speaker C: Now that would make sense. [01:23:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:23:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:23:26] Speaker A: I mean, because at the age we are now, I think, you know, we're at that age now. Especially you, Reese. Not to say that you old, I'm old. But we not trying to play without time for our intentions. [01:23:40] Speaker B: So it's like school, I don't got time for time. You know I ain't got time for time. Yeah, like fuck, Jack. [01:23:46] Speaker A: That's a quote right there. [01:23:47] Speaker B: Like I don't got time. Time for time. [01:23:49] Speaker A: It's like is not trying to play with their intentions. We trying to. Okay, this is why you're here. This is what you're here for. This is what we're doing. The moment you go this way with that. This is old that part I'm in. [01:24:00] Speaker B: Goal achieving season, bro. Like real. That's where I'm at. I'm out of. Look, I'll still play my PlayStation sometimes at 2 in the morning when I'm think I got else to do, but I'm in gold achievement. [01:24:10] Speaker A: As you should. [01:24:11] Speaker B: So get the out my way. [01:24:12] Speaker D: Okay, so I got a quick question. So expectations. Do we put the expectation on others for them to be who we are to them because you have different friends for different. [01:24:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't do that. [01:24:25] Speaker D: All friends are not the same. [01:24:26] Speaker C: Absolutely. [01:24:28] Speaker D: You know, you may. [01:24:29] Speaker B: I was just thinking about that point too though. [01:24:32] Speaker A: So before we end it here, I'ma say yes, right? Not us per se, but I think majority of the population, they do put their expectations on the people because who they are. If I'm loyal to you, I expect. [01:24:49] Speaker B: You to be loyal to me. I only expect you to be who you are. All right, so that's all I look for in people. [01:24:55] Speaker A: How much time we got left? [01:24:56] Speaker D: One minute, two seconds. [01:24:57] Speaker A: Oh my God. Let me, let me get this off real quick. I was on an Instagram post with Charleston White. Somebody posted Charleston White because he was snitching. I said, gang, that's exactly what he does. That's. [01:25:07] Speaker B: That's who he is. So expect that shit from him. [01:25:09] Speaker A: This person said, well, that doesn't make it right. I said, the game is the game. I don't think the game ever been played without snitches. And I believe that it's never a matter of time of if, but when when it comes to the game. He was like, you don't need to lecture me. I don't understand why people condone. All right, y'all, we back this. It's our last and final segment. What we got next? [01:25:51] Speaker D: T. Next we have how has money. [01:25:56] Speaker A: I made this question for Jeff. [01:25:57] Speaker D: Yes, this is. This is directed towards Jeff. How has money affected your relationship with family, friends and spouses or significant others? [01:26:08] Speaker A: I'M pretty sure you know the statistics on this. [01:26:11] Speaker C: Well, the number one cause of divorce is finances. [01:26:15] Speaker B: Finances, Financial infidelity. [01:26:17] Speaker A: There you go. [01:26:19] Speaker C: I think. I think, like, once you come into money, it doesn't change you. It just enhances who you are, whoever you are. [01:26:26] Speaker B: I agree with that. [01:26:27] Speaker A: That's absolutely true. [01:26:28] Speaker C: So it's like you have these thoughts in your head. Oh, and I get. I could do, honey, I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna be that. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. And once you get it, you just enhance that. But it also just enhances the character of who you are or the character traits that you had that you just, like, hidden. Yeah. [01:26:45] Speaker A: So I agree with that. [01:26:47] Speaker C: So I don't think it, like, changes you, but it does then affect the relationship because how we said, it's like, oh, I got a thousand dollars. You only got a dollar out of here. I got $1,000, you got a dollar. But then that's just. Just bringing out who you are. [01:27:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Yo, total. Leah hates when I bring this up. Okay. But I talk about the Monopoly game. [01:27:08] Speaker C: You do talk about the Monopoly. Another Monopoly story. [01:27:15] Speaker A: No, it's the same one. [01:27:16] Speaker C: It's the same one. [01:27:17] Speaker A: So pretty much, there was a study done where they brought people in and they played Monopoly and. And they manipulated the game. So it's like, if me and you went to play Monopoly, they may have given you more edge than me. So what they were trying to. The study was trying to see was how you act during the game. So what they found is when they had snacks out, people ate more. The people who was up winning. My fault. The people who was up winning ate more snacks. [01:27:48] Speaker B: Okay. [01:27:48] Speaker A: They started talking crazy. They started like. Like, why can't you catch up? Like, what's going on? Like, work harder. You know what I'm saying? So that's why I always bring the aspect up, is just that naturally, people who make more tend to speak to others who don't make what they make a little different. A little different. [01:28:10] Speaker C: But that's, again, that's just. [01:28:11] Speaker B: That's their character, though. [01:28:13] Speaker C: I'm saying they was. [01:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that's who they was before they got there. [01:28:16] Speaker A: I mean, well, it speaks to Jeff. [01:28:17] Speaker B: Yeah. You are who I believe you are who you are before you. You know what I'm saying? You was who you was when you got. [01:28:21] Speaker C: And so, like, given that I deal with money, that's how I see it. Like, in this space of finance, bro, you know who has it. You know, the people that have It. And you know that like, for me, I can tell who's pretending, like, right? And who's doing all that front and that front running stuff and saying, oh. [01:28:39] Speaker A: And when you say that, what you mean by pretending? [01:28:41] Speaker C: Like pretending that they have money, right? Or like they doing it just to like keep up. [01:28:46] Speaker B: To keep up. Yeah. [01:28:46] Speaker C: But the ones that really got it. [01:28:48] Speaker B: That they don't look like it. [01:28:51] Speaker C: Some do. [01:28:52] Speaker B: Some do. [01:28:52] Speaker C: Some do. [01:28:53] Speaker D: Jeff, what are the signs of people who have. [01:28:56] Speaker A: Break it down, Jeff. [01:28:57] Speaker D: They don't. What are some signs that you say. [01:29:00] Speaker C: They don't gotta let you know it? That part, that's the number one sign that they're not trying to let you know it. [01:29:06] Speaker B: That's what I meant when I. They don't. They don't look like it. That's what I mean. So like working in the casino, I see it, I got who come in and gamble with a couple hundred, a couple thousand I gotta do. Dude coming in every day with a hundred thousand dollars, you know what I'm saying? He coming here daily with a hundred thousand dollars gamble and he walking around with a, with an AP on his wrist. It has not a diamond in it, it's straight steel color plain. $17,000 watch, plain Jane with a, A polo shirt that has no logo on it. But the stitching is highest quality Italian stitching that you can have. You see what I'm saying? He walk around with $700 on his back, but he looked like he just left Walmart. You see what I'm saying? But the who coming in. And I can see him coming. Before he turned the corner, he got all of his money in his pocket. Literally everything he owns is in his left pocket. [01:29:58] Speaker A: So I learned that working at Nordstrom's. Yeah, I, I remember they used to have this one guy that came in, he used to come in his shorts, like literally shorts, a T shirt, but he had a plain Jane rolly on. Yeah, you feel me? Flip flops. [01:30:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:16] Speaker A: And he was spinning. [01:30:17] Speaker B: They love flip flops. [01:30:18] Speaker A: Yeah, they love flips. [01:30:18] Speaker B: Rich people love flip flops. It gotta be something behind him, toes out with the thong between them. It gotta make you feel rich. I got it. [01:30:25] Speaker C: I ain't impress nobody. [01:30:26] Speaker B: Listen, I can't add no thong between my toes, bro. [01:30:29] Speaker A: It was that. [01:30:30] Speaker C: Oh, I know. Socky the Death with some thong. I just, I'm trying to like teach myself how to walk so it don't flap up and hit my head. [01:30:42] Speaker A: And then I remember another experience with this guy that came in, yo, I like suits. Yeah, I Mean, I don't only own two, but I hate suits. But this suit was sharp. His suit was sharp. It was like a fucking. I mean, most hood niggas would say purple, right? But I would say more like lavender. Yeah, it was nice. It was a really nice suit. And I was like, like, you know, excuse me, sir. Like that's, you know, that's a nice suit. Where you get it from? And he was like, oh, it's Gucci. [01:31:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:12] Speaker A: And I'm like, for real? [01:31:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:14] Speaker A: He opened up the flat. You see the little Gucci sign and that right there? I'm like, damn. Like you said earlier, look at that. And they just a regular suit, but. [01:31:24] Speaker B: Whole time he's in the 2,500 jacket on. [01:31:28] Speaker C: You feel me? [01:31:28] Speaker B: Like regular. [01:31:30] Speaker C: You start to see it once you like, you'll see it. Like, just sit calm. [01:31:36] Speaker B: That's real. [01:31:36] Speaker C: Whether you go to the bar, whatever, sit calm and you going to see who. [01:31:40] Speaker B: You can tell who got it, right? The person who got it. They don't. Most of the time, they don't want you to know they have it. [01:31:45] Speaker C: It's too much attention. [01:31:46] Speaker B: You see what I'm saying? Like, they like, it's not a flex. I know the second wealthiest black man in the state of Maryland. I know him personally because he gambled a lot. So like we've developed a relationship over the last 10 years where we speak to each other, other, we text each other and he. [01:32:01] Speaker C: I'm telling you, need a financial advisors. [01:32:08] Speaker A: Up and coming podcast. [01:32:09] Speaker B: I live on the Shameless plug. I live on the Shameless because I am not shameless about it. I don't give a. I would plug anybody, anywhere, anytime. [01:32:17] Speaker A: But I'm not going to lie though, before you finish your thought. [01:32:19] Speaker B: It's. [01:32:19] Speaker A: It's too many. Like, that should be blowing my mind. It's too many connecting dots. But go ahead. [01:32:24] Speaker B: We good. But my point being, and then just reiterate the same point. When he walks in the room. My man has on the same white pair of canvas shoes. Don't know what brand they are. He wears Docker shorts. He might have a polo. He might have a button up with the top button open. He look like he has no care in the world, but you don't see what. You know what I'm saying? Like, you would never know how much he's actually worth or what he has in either of his pockets at any given moment. Moment. And. But his wife, you see it on her. [01:32:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:32:55] Speaker B: You feel me? Which is okay. Because he. You know what I'm Saying that's their life. You see it on her, and that's her thing. She, like, flashy. That's her thing. And I believe that if I ever got to that point, I would be like that, because I'm like that. I've always been like that. [01:33:09] Speaker A: You know, I have to get millions. No, not ever. When I win, I get. [01:33:13] Speaker B: Here we go. Speaking, too with speaking. [01:33:16] Speaker A: I would wear the most basic. Yeah, no, that's me, bro. [01:33:19] Speaker B: I'm a T shirt. [01:33:20] Speaker A: I might even grow my. I'm bald. [01:33:22] Speaker B: Bald. [01:33:22] Speaker A: I might even grow my hair out and have the George Jefferson. My. Like. [01:33:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Won't be able to tell me what the. That part. Nah, my. My goal. One of my goals is that I have to put clothes on. Like, real. Like, that's one of my goals. Y'all do not have to get dressed up to do. [01:33:41] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, this money is interesting. So, like, you know, when I say close out, right? So, like, it's a guy that, like, sits in front of us, like. Right. His family provided the gravel that built Tyson's Corner down in Virginia. [01:33:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:33:58] Speaker C: Right. Like, his. His family. So the. The land that started Columbia. [01:34:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:34:07] Speaker C: His family built. Oh. Now and then, and some of it is him, too, but I'm just, you know, saying, help build. I think it's the east or it's either the east or west. I can't really remember, of Ocean City. [01:34:24] Speaker B: Oh. [01:34:25] Speaker C: Like, and it's like, if you were to see him, you would like, like, bro, if he take his hat off, he'd be like, damn, bro, he may be paying hand. I might put a dollar in it. But he is one of the wealthiest people in the mid Atlantic. [01:34:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:34:39] Speaker C: And it's like, bro, like, that's how it should be. And it's like, yo, like, he just be chilling. [01:34:46] Speaker B: I mean, you know, I've seen people like that, and I. But I would look at. I don't mean to cut you off, but I wonder about. Like, I always think, like, well, what is their quality of life? Like, not. Not necessarily what they have, because they can go buy whatever they want. All right. [01:35:00] Speaker C: And I'm just saying, in this instance, happy as a mother. [01:35:03] Speaker B: As a mother. Well, that's great. Yeah. [01:35:05] Speaker A: Because I think once you get to a certain status of wealth, I think it just becomes how, Like, I think money is a tool at the end of the day. [01:35:12] Speaker C: Right. [01:35:12] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:35:14] Speaker C: And this is just him that speak up. [01:35:16] Speaker A: And. And I'm thinking in my own mindset. All right. So, Tony, when you get your money, what. What are you doing? What's the first thing you're doing. I'm not, I'm not gonna. I ain't gonna hold you. Like, let's, let's just say I hit the lottery and I won like 100 million, right? Would I up a million? [01:35:32] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:35:33] Speaker A: Immediately up a million. [01:35:37] Speaker B: I'm up a million in my brain right now. [01:35:40] Speaker A: But for the most part, I know a lot of the money that I spend is going to be based in comfort, in a sense of being. And when I say comfort, I don't mean like comfort like the nicest couch in the world. I mean comfort in like. Okay, son, you don't have to work. I mean, yes, but you don't have to worry about what school you want to go to. Matter of fact, if you don't want to go to school, you want to figure yourself out. [01:36:05] Speaker B: Yeah, you can do that, you can do that. [01:36:07] Speaker A: Or, or best friend, you don't gotta work that job no more. Here, take some money. Go travel the world, See the world for, for a little bit and then figure out what you want to do. You know what I'm saying? Like that, that's the, like that's why I want to make money. [01:36:21] Speaker C: I'm just gonna push back on a little bit of it. Being the lottery, right? Lottery winners go broke. [01:36:28] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. [01:36:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I get what I'm saying. Because they go broke. [01:36:33] Speaker B: Statistically proven. Yeah. [01:36:34] Speaker A: But I'm just saying if I had the money right now, that's what, that's what I. [01:36:38] Speaker B: So like I've. I've actually made a list of who I would give what to. [01:36:43] Speaker C: Like. [01:36:43] Speaker B: And in my mind I'm like, if I ever just happenstance hit the lottery, 100 million dollar lottery, right? Whatever. And whatever I, whatever payout structure I take, I leave with a hundred million dollars. In my mind, I know who I like. I'm throwing a party and I'm handing out checks at this party. [01:37:00] Speaker C: And that's one time. [01:37:02] Speaker A: Ch. [01:37:03] Speaker B: One time. [01:37:03] Speaker A: Check one time. [01:37:05] Speaker B: And based on who you are to me, one, hey, you might get a mill, you might get a hundred thousand, you might get 15,000, you know what I'm saying? But. And it's based on who you are to me, but that's what you doing. And I've always said I would, that and I would buy like a compound and put my family on and then I'm going and I'm looking. [01:37:24] Speaker A: I also think that, like when you make, make that kind of money, I think you, you do what makes you happy. And for me, I enjoy taking care of People. [01:37:31] Speaker B: Yeah, me too. That's my accessories. Is one of my love languages. [01:37:35] Speaker A: Like, when we. Sorry. If y'all saw what happened on news with where I work at. When we was getting that money, that's what I was doing with my money. It wasn't necessarily spending my money completely. [01:37:46] Speaker C: This is still open. Allegedly. [01:37:48] Speaker A: Allegedly. But when I was getting my money. Yeah, that's what I was doing. [01:37:54] Speaker C: His money that he worked hard for. [01:37:56] Speaker A: Hard. That money 18 hours a day. [01:37:59] Speaker C: We're not talking about the other money that allegedly was frivolously, like, giving out. Just want to clear that up. Allegedly. [01:38:08] Speaker A: Thank you, Jess. Also a lawyer. [01:38:14] Speaker C: I got you, brother. [01:38:15] Speaker A: It's like when my best friend would call me, have a problem, like, yeah, I'm about to go to this thing. I got this dress here. Boom. Take this money. Shorty, call me. Listen, son, need this here, boom. Take this money. You know what I'm saying? It's like, that's what I got. Enjoying, like, I think the. The My most during that time, the best experience I had was buying something for my grandmother. Not saying I never bought her nothing, but something that she had been talking about that she didn't think nobody was gonna get for. [01:38:44] Speaker B: Right. [01:38:45] Speaker A: And seeing a look on her face. [01:38:46] Speaker B: Right, right. [01:38:47] Speaker A: That was like, everything. [01:38:50] Speaker C: See, one time. Can you repeat the question? [01:38:52] Speaker D: Yes. Question is, how has money affected your relationships with your family, friends, spouses, and or significant others? [01:39:00] Speaker C: All right, so the lack of money. We know. You know, that's when everything starts changing. Yeah. Because it's that pressure to provide. And coming from a male's perspective, it's that pressure to provide. So, like, if you ain't got it, that stress go on. We can think of, like, everybody hates Christ. [01:39:18] Speaker A: Julius. Yeah. [01:39:19] Speaker C: You know, he was always, quote, unquote, penny pinching. [01:39:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:39:22] Speaker A: Right. [01:39:22] Speaker C: And it was just like the stress to. To make sure you can provide for your family. But that survival mode is then passed down to your kids. Bro, living in survival mode sucks. So if there's anything that you can do to get out of survival mode, Save a couple dollars, whatever. Whatever you can do. So, like, you not in survival mode. Cause you all. You quick to react, and you're quick to fight in survival mode. [01:39:48] Speaker B: You know what's funny to me? You use that. Everybody hates Chris Julius. [01:39:52] Speaker C: Exactly. [01:39:53] Speaker B: So excuse me. I've had the money conversation and looking at Everybody hates Chris, but I always look at the wife. [01:40:02] Speaker A: My husband got two jobs. [01:40:03] Speaker B: My husband got two jobs. My husband got two jobs. She don't give a fuck. [01:40:07] Speaker D: I don't need this job. [01:40:08] Speaker B: I don't need this. Where all she did was quit jobs. Like, and I remember the episode. All she did was quit jobs the entire episode. Because I don't need this job. My husband got two jobs. You see what I'm saying? And it's like, I know people. I know people who live like that. You feel me? Like, I know women who don't give a fuck what go on, because they nigga got him. And I'm like, there has to be one comforting to her, but it gotta be high anxiety to him. [01:40:39] Speaker C: Stress, bro. [01:40:39] Speaker B: Because you have to live up to that eight days a week. Like, you have to be that person, right? Because you gotta be that every day. You know what I'm saying? Like, and that becomes a lot to deal with. Like, as a man. And that's the shit that we don't talk about. Like, I can't go to my woman and say, hey, you gotta give a fuck. Because, yeah, I got two jobs, but I'm tired of working this hard. You can't say that, because as soon as you say that shit, you look like you're less than who you are. [01:41:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:41:04] Speaker B: You see what I'm saying? And it's one of them things. And I don't know if that's going back to the male pride and ego part of it, or has she created a pedestal that's hard to live up to. You feel me? [01:41:17] Speaker A: Because, like, yo, it's a bit of both. [01:41:19] Speaker B: I think it is a bit of both. [01:41:20] Speaker D: And I don't think it's just male. So I'll speak from my personal experience. So my previous relationship, I was in a relationship with an accountant. She made six figures. I did not. So she also felt that pressure to provide because she's the breadwinner in a relationship. So she like, this shit, bitch, this shit's stressful. Cause, you know, your money is here, and my money is covering everything. So I think it's just whoever in a relationship at the time is making the most money, they feel the most pressure because they have to fill in the gaps of the shit that you, baby, essentially can't do. So, yeah, now that's real. Yeah. [01:41:54] Speaker C: There also needs to be, like, communication. [01:41:58] Speaker B: That's everything. Yeah. [01:41:59] Speaker C: I think I touched on, like, finance being, like, the number one reason for divorce. [01:42:04] Speaker A: Hold on, Jeff. [01:42:05] Speaker C: Yes. Cut me off. [01:42:07] Speaker A: Yes. I just want to add this part. Communication with. What's the word I'm looking for? [01:42:16] Speaker C: Empathy. [01:42:17] Speaker A: No, because when you understand. [01:42:20] Speaker D: Understand. [01:42:22] Speaker A: What's the other word for that? [01:42:23] Speaker D: Compassion. [01:42:25] Speaker C: Just say what you want. [01:42:26] Speaker B: No. [01:42:26] Speaker A: No, you right. No, she right. I, I was trying to use another word, but yes, comprehension. That's the word I was looking for. Communication with. Comprehension. [01:42:35] Speaker B: Go ahead. [01:42:36] Speaker C: So I, if finance is the number one reason for divorce, I like to push back on that and say no, it's, it's got to be communication. Because if you can communicate and you can talk through these problems, the finance we already know, we getting hit with it. [01:42:52] Speaker B: Right. [01:42:52] Speaker C: And we going to figure out a way together how to navigate through this. [01:42:56] Speaker A: Yeah. But at the same end, but also think about this too. At the other end of that, you have to. The person that you're communicating with, Communicating with has to be able to comprehend. I can talk to this wall all day, but if the wall is not comprehending what I'm saying, we gonna put. [01:43:15] Speaker C: You on a pad at one after that. [01:43:21] Speaker A: That's how some people are. [01:43:23] Speaker C: That's her out. [01:43:24] Speaker B: That's where. [01:43:24] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like I, I always say communication and comprehension have to go together because I can communicate all day. But if you as a person are not understanding what I'm communicating with, you know what I'm saying, and everybody like. [01:43:37] Speaker D: But I, I'll, I'll say, I think understanding is more important than comprehension because I can comprehend and understand exactly what the, you saying to me doesn't mean I empathize with your situation. I, I absolutely cannot offer a certain emotion that you may be looking. Looking for. [01:43:54] Speaker B: Selfish, generally. [01:43:55] Speaker A: Yes. [01:43:55] Speaker C: Right. [01:43:56] Speaker A: So it's a three step process though. So then you have to say, and I agree with you, then that means it's a three step process. It's communication. [01:44:08] Speaker C: Okay. [01:44:08] Speaker A: Comprehension and then empathy. [01:44:10] Speaker D: Okay. [01:44:11] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? Those three things have to exist within that. [01:44:14] Speaker B: They should exist. [01:44:15] Speaker A: Yes. For the situation. If any of those components are missing. [01:44:19] Speaker B: It'S not a lot of failed marriages don't have those three things. Didn't have those three things. Yeah, they didn't have, they didn't have those three things. Empathy is one of those. Empathy. Empathy is like. I compare empathy to playing golf. All right. It's the easy. Golf is the easiest game to understand. You hit a ball in the hole, that's it. It's the hardest game to master. And I've played multiple sports on multiple levels. Golf because it's all technique. There's nothing about power, it's nothing about strength, it's nothing about, about how fast you are. It's technique. And as I, I compared to relationships. Because this is why you see 70 year old like professional golf players. Because it's a game that they're always trying to be better at. And that's what relationships are. That's. That's what empathy is. Empathy is because empathy changes from person to person. All right? Like me empathizing with you isn't the same as me empathizing with you. And because I have to meet you where you are for me to empathize with you. [01:45:15] Speaker C: You. [01:45:15] Speaker B: But then I have to be able to meet you where you are for me to empathize with you. But I'm one person, so you both have to meet me where I'm at. You know what I'm saying? So relationships are so dynamic that we don't have a lot of space to put empathy in the proper places with people. Which is why, going back to what we were talking about earlier, a lot of the that we deal with without children don't get discussed properly because it's hard for us as parents. Parents not to put ourselves where our kid is at, but for us to understand that they can't put themselves where we're where we are. You see what I'm saying? Oh, no. We got nine minutes. [01:45:51] Speaker A: Okay, so listen, I'm about to hit up with this question. Do you believe that people decide who they want to be empathetic with depending on how much they care about problem? Absolutely. [01:46:09] Speaker C: Absolutely. [01:46:09] Speaker B: Absolutely. I think that's a natural thing, though. [01:46:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:46:11] Speaker B: Because I think it's a natural thing because I. I don't mean to cut you off, but go ahead, go ahead. The level of how much I with you is going to determine how empathetic I am towards you. Because you could be my co worker who I give a about from 9 to 5. You see what I'm saying? At 501, you mean to me. So my level of empathy for you ends at 459.59seconds. [01:46:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:46:31] Speaker B: You see what I'm saying? But at the same time, I'm not going to be as empathetic with any woman as I am with my wife because she requires the majority of my empathy, and that includes my mother. And I love my mother to death. [01:46:43] Speaker A: Right? [01:46:43] Speaker B: All right. I am a mama's boy at 43 years old. I don't give a fuck who know it. [01:46:48] Speaker A: I'll hit. [01:46:48] Speaker B: I cannot give my mother the empathy I give my wife because my wife requires so much of it. [01:46:52] Speaker A: Right. [01:46:52] Speaker B: You see what I'm saying? And I only got with so much, like it's a tank. [01:46:57] Speaker A: I asked that because as I'm hearing you guys talk, I'm thinking to myself, it Goes back. I remember I heard this on an episode of Oprah, used to have this segment or this show called Love where they were talking different couples. [01:47:15] Speaker B: Different couples. Yeah. [01:47:16] Speaker A: And I remember this gentleman had said. And it made so much sense when he said it. He said, people underestimate liking someone. [01:47:23] Speaker B: Absolutely right. [01:47:24] Speaker C: Oh, I be damned, man. [01:47:29] Speaker B: That shit triggered me jealous. [01:47:39] Speaker C: Oh, I love you, but I don't like you. I be like, yeah. [01:47:45] Speaker A: But. [01:47:46] Speaker C: So sorry I got triggered. [01:47:47] Speaker A: No, you good. But the two are different, I think. Love. When people say they love you, they feel obligated. [01:47:54] Speaker B: Love comes with tolerance. Liking somebody don't. [01:47:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:47:58] Speaker C: Like, come before the. [01:47:59] Speaker B: Yeah, but you don't just. You crawl before you walk. But you don't crawl and walk like. Like you like somebody. You grow into loving them. It's very easy to not like the person you love. [01:48:09] Speaker A: Yes. [01:48:09] Speaker B: Love comes with obligation. [01:48:11] Speaker A: Yes. [01:48:11] Speaker B: Liking somebody does not. [01:48:13] Speaker A: So it's like, in a sense, think of it like this. [01:48:15] Speaker C: I mean, I get it. Keep going. [01:48:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:48:16] Speaker A: Like, if your girl like, oh, that's. Babe, can you stop and get me some Chipotle? All right. I love you. So I'm a stop and do do it. Because I say I love you and I feel obligated that I have to do it, but I don't like doing it. I wanted to just go to straight, straight the home. [01:48:34] Speaker C: I'm gonna tell you like this. Don't. Because. Because now once you lose that light aspect, right. Once you lose that, then it becomes, like, the obligation. [01:48:46] Speaker A: But it's a lot of situations like that. [01:48:48] Speaker B: But you're not always going to like a person. And like, this is like. [01:48:51] Speaker C: I'm saying, if it's my. Oh, hold on. I. I was making it, like, specific to, like, this. [01:48:55] Speaker B: Yo. Even my significant other. Yo, listen, me and my wife been together for 13 years. [01:48:59] Speaker A: Thirteen. [01:48:59] Speaker B: We've been married one, three for what, eight, nine. We got married in 06. [01:49:04] Speaker D: Okay. [01:49:04] Speaker A: 2007. [01:49:05] Speaker B: I don't like her eight days. I don't like her seven days a week. You know what I'm saying? [01:49:09] Speaker C: You like her. And I just want everybody to know, like this. Eight days a week. This is resaying. [01:49:14] Speaker B: Yeah. That's my saying. I know it's not eight days in a week. [01:49:16] Speaker A: You need to coin that. [01:49:17] Speaker B: I say eight days a week because. Put it on my shirt. Yeah, that's my shirt. But my point being playing. Because we around each other so much. We live together. All right? We live together every day. We sleep together every night. Yeah. I'm not going to always, like, what she does. I might not always like the person she's showing up as in that moment, but because I love her, I'm able to one tolerate whatever space she's in. [01:49:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:49:41] Speaker B: And then I'm able to actually try to understand why she's in the space she's in. Okay, so that's the. That's what loving gets you. But you're not going to like a person. Person liking is temperamental. Love isn't temperamental. Yeah, liking the person is temperamental no matter what the relationship is, whether it's romantic or not. [01:49:57] Speaker C: So if I love you, right, it's like, oh, I love you enough to, like, stay in this house and not speak to you. Like, oh, you come to. Oh, the bacon. Ready? And then it's like, oh, okay. That's it. [01:50:08] Speaker B: Yeah, like, at it. I mean, bro, like, if that's always. I agree with you 100%. You should always strive to keep the light relevant. [01:50:20] Speaker A: Yes. [01:50:20] Speaker B: All right. You should always strive to keep the light. [01:50:22] Speaker C: And the reason why I say that is because, like, that's how it all started. Right? Like, this is, like, the same. The foundation of the relationship is built on light. [01:50:32] Speaker A: Yes, I get that. So think of it like this. [01:50:36] Speaker B: I'm sorry, think of it like this. [01:50:45] Speaker A: Like, 95 degrees. But listen, the love aspect of it is, like, I love you enough to not go do something out here. You get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't really want. I don't really want to be home. [01:51:03] Speaker C: No, I like you enough to be home. [01:51:05] Speaker A: No, the love is what take you home. The life part is. No, the life is different. [01:51:12] Speaker C: And they like, nah, you've never been. [01:51:14] Speaker A: In this situation where you go home out of the obligation of love, but you really don't want to be there. [01:51:21] Speaker C: I mean. Yeah, like, past shit. [01:51:23] Speaker B: So that's. I mean, Tony Braxton told us, love should have brought your ass home last night. [01:51:26] Speaker A: Right. [01:51:27] Speaker B: Like, Tony Braxton told us that. So I get what Tony's saying. Love brings you home. Like, makes you enjoy being home. [01:51:34] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:51:34] Speaker B: You see what I'm saying? [01:51:35] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. Okay, let's stay here. [01:51:38] Speaker A: That's good. [01:51:39] Speaker C: Let's stay here. [01:51:41] Speaker B: I like going home. [01:51:42] Speaker A: That was good. [01:51:44] Speaker B: I like going home. [01:51:45] Speaker A: That was good. [01:51:46] Speaker C: And it's like, yo, I. I like being here. I'm enjoying this. And then, like, I'm taking a step further. You know what? I love being here. Like, I don't think you can. I don't think you can separate the two or they should be separated. [01:51:58] Speaker A: No, the two are different. I'm telling you, the two are different. I think I've experienced it. The two are different. [01:52:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:52:04] Speaker A: I'm not gonna do what I do because I said I love you. [01:52:08] Speaker C: Okay? [01:52:09] Speaker A: That's why I'm not doing what I'm doing. It doesn't mean I don't like. [01:52:13] Speaker B: No. So that's my point. Loving you comes with an obligation because I'm telling you I love you. I am obligated. I'm obligated to, number one, respect your feelings. [01:52:21] Speaker C: I get that. [01:52:22] Speaker B: All right. I'm obligated to hold a certain standard of myself because I love you. Yeah, Right. And because if I don't hold that standard of myself, I'm disrespecting you even if you ain't around me. [01:52:30] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:52:31] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? So. But liking you. You not has. Not liking you makes loving you easy. All right? When I like you, liking you makes the. The act of loving you enjoyable to do. [01:52:42] Speaker A: And it should always. [01:52:43] Speaker C: And that's what I'm saying. [01:52:47] Speaker B: Is not going to always. [01:52:48] Speaker A: Right. So what he's saying is liking is something again that's enjoyable. Loving feels obligated. Think of it like going to work, in a sense, when a person hates that job. I go to work because what I need to make. [01:53:03] Speaker C: So you like or you. You obligated. [01:53:07] Speaker B: You love what paying bills brings you. [01:53:09] Speaker C: Yes. [01:53:09] Speaker B: Right. But you love what paying bills brings you. [01:53:12] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:53:12] Speaker C: Then I'm saying, Eden, you need to find what it is that you like and love. [01:53:16] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I feel like what I'm saying. [01:53:18] Speaker C: Like to create like the, like, in my opinion, to create this utopia. Utopia within your atmosphere, within your circle, they have to. They gotta coexist. Once you let one go and you hang on to the other, then that's. [01:53:37] Speaker A: When we're not saying that they can't coexist with it. [01:53:40] Speaker B: We gotta mention some change. I don't mean to cut you off because I want just to. What you said. What's the definition of a utopia? [01:53:49] Speaker C: For me or in general? In general, the definition of utopia is like a something you create where, like, everything goes right. And I'm just. [01:53:57] Speaker B: That's a high level textbook definition of Utopia is a fictional place that exists where problems don't inhabit. All right? A fictional place. [01:54:09] Speaker C: Okay. [01:54:09] Speaker B: There is no utopia you can create. Okay? You cannot create an utopia. There is no. There is no it up. Think about your life. There is no situation in your life that has ever existed. That was always good. [01:54:25] Speaker C: You're right. [01:54:26] Speaker D: I also had the definition of utopia. Okay, hurry up. Utopia can refer to a few things. Place of ideal. Well, being a good utopia, an alliance of a European universities or short story, that's some other utopia as a concept means a good place or a wild place. And it's often used as a setting them for utopia. [01:54:44] Speaker C: So it's a concept that's not all that it said. That's not all that it was said. Like, the first one was like, that's an ideal. [01:54:52] Speaker B: That's not real. [01:54:53] Speaker C: That's a noun, person, place, or thing or idea. [01:54:56] Speaker B: Yeah. But. [01:55:00] Speaker A: We'Re gonna take this off camera. [01:55:03] Speaker C: Thank y'all for tapping in. [01:55:05] Speaker B: Hold on. [01:55:07] Speaker A: Thank y'all for tapping in. And we'll be back next week where he. Hopefully Jeffrey can join us next week. If not, Reese will be here. Reese? Reese will be here. [01:55:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I know. He got caught with the ratchet. [01:55:19] Speaker A: As always, like, follow and subscribe. We love y'all. See y'all next week. Salute. [01:55:26] Speaker C: Be safe.